Monday, September 10, 2007

I’m Confused

People are confusing me.

Britney:
Is there no one in Hollywood, no image manager, who is willing to take this girl on? Seriously? No one? I mean, I know she’s a train wreck, but she’s a train wreck that still has a(n ever decreasing) chance of eventually getting back on her game. (Did she ever have a game? Or was it simply shaking her well-toned ass? I dunno. But at least she could get the ass well-toned again. That might be a good start.) There are people, a LOT of people in Hollywood whose job it is to make the stars in Hollywood look good. Can Britney not get one of those damn people on her payroll? I mean really. Not one wardrobe person? Not one publicist? Not one manager who can make coherent business decisions that don’t involve putting your client in a bikini on national television to lip synch to a song she doesn’t even know?

This all confuses me.

Britney. Honey. Pack it in. Call it a day. Take your cash and your babies and go live in Europe somewhere.

Because....

In Europe:
It is apparently okay to leave your babies unattended while you go out to eat at a nearby restaurant.

Have you been following the story of this little girl that got kidnaped, but then maybe just got killed by her parents? I wasn’t really following it, I didn’t really see why the whole world was so concerned about this one little girl. Not to be cold, but kids disappear everyday, why was this one English girl on the cover of People? Weird.

But then this weekend I read that the mom was a suspect in the girl’s death and so I read a little about the story. From what I can gather it seems as though the mom and the dad were vacationing in Portugal (Spain? Somewhere European.) And they put their twin two year olds and their other daughter to bed and then went to a nearby restaurant to eat. It’s okay, because they “constantly checked on the children”. And then one of the kids disappeared. Huh?

I looked through a bunch of articles and not one mentioned a nanny or a caretaker, or even a pitbull or something. And not one of these articles even seemed to blink at the fact that the parents left their three babies alone while they dined on gourmet food.

Now granted, I know it’s probably tempting to leave your kids alone when they are sleeping and you are hungry. But, uh, you’re not really supposed to do that, are you? Because if you are parenting just became a whole lot easier and I’m looking forward to it.

And finally, The Gay Senator.
I could give a crap about The Gay Senator. The guy is all over the map with the pleading guilty, deciding not to plead guilty and the resigning and then, oh, maybe not, but maybe yeah, but the only thing that is for sure is HE’S NOT GAY. Whatever.

What confuses me about this story is the fact that there are apparently policemen spending their days trying to catch gay guys in bathrooms in the airport. Really? As far as issues go in this country, as far as things that I would like to be protected from, I don’t know that blowjobs in the bathroom is really up on the list. I mean, have you traveled by plane lately? We all need something to relieve that tension. Better it be happening in the bathrooms than people be getting on their (18 hour delayed) flight all tense and pissed off.

And maybe the cops could focus on, I don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud here, murderers, pedophiles, people selling drugs to kids, and other bad things. Not that sex in bathrooms isn’t bad and totally worthy of an entire task force, but, um, seriously? A whole task force? I bet those cops go home feeling fulfilled, probably just the reason they got into law enforcement. “What did you go at work today?” “I tapped my foot and busted a Senator.” “One less Gay Senator roaming the streets, well done.”

Whatever.

4 comments:

tornwordo said...

Again, you need to do stand-up. Maybe things haven't really changed all that much since 1959.

Stephanie said...

Seriously, I had the same thought about the couple whose daughter got kidnapped or worse. I mean famous people donated money and didn't seem to blink an eye that they left 3 children under 5 unattended.

Chunks said...

I agree on all points.

Did you ever think K-Fed would be the "good" parent? I mean, he's at home having a birthday party for the kids and she is out ruining what's left of her bizarre career (and showing off her cootch again). The whole thing is crazy.

Patricia said...

britney made me wince. it was a trainwreck and, like you, i kept thinking, is there no one who could tell her that she has to know the routine in advance???

as for the portugal family, it makes me want to vomit. i read that the mom may have given the child a sedative. because you know, that would certainly make it easier to linger over dinner longer.

if they're guilty, i've got dibs on the twins.