Not So Cured

Shocker of shockers, Mountain Dew and popcorn didn’t quite cure me. I have been in bed all day yet again. Yet again rising for only food and some dessert. I can’t imagine why I don’t feel well.

I think my body is rebelling, I think it very much wants to be on my couch back home watching TV and eating Chinese take-out. It has humored me for this long and now it is just about done with this silly touring thing. It is expressing its disapproval in the form of body aches and exhaustion.

My head is clogged up and I can’t breathe or hear that well. I’m thinking that tomorrow’s morning show appearance is going to be simply fabulous. Don’t miss it if you are in San Diego. I may just stare blankly into the camera for my entire three minute segment. Could happen.

Funny thing, not a lot to report about today, as most of it was spent sleeping.

BUT I do have a video from a bathroom I visited here in San Diego. Well, I didn’t JUST visit the bathroom, I was actually in the restaurant and then I went into the bathroom. And then I went in again with my camera, because it was something that I knew you guys would want to see. Yes, I know I have a problem that needs to be addressed when it comes to cameras and bathrooms. But really, it can take a number in the Problems That Need to Be Addressed line. It’s a very long line.

Cured

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the Heaven’s Gate mass suicide thing. How do I know that? Because that is the Depressing Story of the Day that I had the joy of following this morning on San Diego morning television. Well, to be honest, I actually followed the story about how panda poop can be made into paper. Or something. And that’s not depressing so much as disgusting, so I guess that is a step in some direction for my television appearances.

Things are going okay here. I have been hit with a cold or flu of some sort, I’m not sure what sort. But it seems to be the sort that involves no energy and the desire to sleep 23 hours a day. (The other hour I enjoy eating something) I am feeling a little better now. This could have to do with several of my rock solid healing techniques.

1) The sleeping I mentioned earlier. Now, granted, I did only get a few hours sleep before I had to go inspire San Diego on morning TV, but the great thing about morning TV is that you can go, inspire and then be back in bed by like 8 am. I barely even had a chance to wake up and I was back in bed. And in that bed I remained for quite a many hours.

2) I woke up just long enough to eat some food and drink some Mountain Dew. I haven’t been feeling well so I’ve been drinking water instead of Mountain Dew. This was giving me a bitch of a caffeine headache and I think was contributing to my overall crappy feeling.

3) Then I woke up again and went and saw a movie. I felt like crap and probably should have stayed in bed, and probably infected the entire theater, but damnit if movies don’t make me feel better. These are the things I need in life: Movies and TV, at regular intervals. Without them I get weak and achy.

So then, I feel better and plan on maintaining this health with even more sleeping tomorrow. And perhaps a gallon of Nyquil before I go to bed.

I believe my book tour is about half over now. And I believe that I am very ready for it to be all the way over. Two months is too long to be away from your life, I’ve decided. And being away from your life doesn’t pay well, so it would be nice to return to my life and to the positive cash flow it offers. The little things in this life. These are what make me happy.

That and movie popcorn.

Oh My.

It has been ever so long since I wrote. Since Sunday it would seem. Not that days really mean anything to me. I tend to just look about two days ahead on my schedule at a time. I know where I am supposed to be in two days. I don’t particularly care what actual days of the week those are. Monday, Thursday, Sunday. All the same.

This week has been nice. Why? Because I got to come home. The good lord set me free from the frozen parts of this country and dropped me in California via a plane. How I love California. And planes for that matter. They go a little quicker than cars, it turns out. It took me two weeks to get to Minnesota. And 4 hours to get home. Did I mention I love planes?

One thing that planes are lacking in slightly is cargo space. It turns out that a lot of stuff fits in an SUV. A lot. And it is then quite difficult to check all that stuff onto a plane. Who woulda thought? We spent several hours and a trip to luggage section of Goodwill (suitcases for a $5!! Really pretty ones too!!) trying to figure out a way to get the SUV back to California on a plane. We ended up each having three bags and two carry-ons. We were fully ready to pay an arm and a leg, but for some reason the kind Baggage Checker Guy let it slide and didn’t charge us anything. God bless you Baggage Checker Guy.

Then we made it home. Well, to San Francisco. Which isn’t so much home. It is still a couple hours away from home. And that is not including the HOUR AND A HALF IT TOOK ME TO RENT A DAMN CAR. Let’s not get into that, because I fear my head may explode if I have to revisit exactly how close I was to killing someone at 1 a.m. in the Thrifty Car Rental place. It was not the best example of my patience.

But at least when it was all done I was in my very own bed. !!! Halle-friggin-lujah.

My bed, and my house and my TV are all very significant reasons why there hasn’t been a blog in quite sometime. I missed my home so much. I need to spend some quality time with it while I have the chance. My DVR alone requires hours of my attention. Do you know that I haven’t watched TV in like a month? Do you know that that is probably the first month in my entire life that I’ve gone without watching TV? Do you know that it’s not healthy for me to go without TV? I can’t tell you how happy I am to have reconnected with my TV and bed and couch. They missed me so and have welcomed me home with open arms and taped shows aplenty.

Tomorrow is my second of two free days, then I’m off for another month on the road. Who the hell do I think I am? The Rolling Stones? And who the hell do the Rolling Stones think they are? 22 years old? I can’t believe those guys are still touring. It’s exhausting going from town to town and not being able to just relax in your own house. I can’t imagine people who do it all year. But then again I might be able to better imagine it if I were making a million bucks a night. That might trigger the imagination a bit...

A Short Film of Triumph

A short film about my harrowing cell phone tale from last week...

Triumph Over Evil

Tired

I’m tired.

I don’t have much to blog about today. And the things I can think of to blog about are going to take more effort than I really have to devote to blogging right now.

I will say that it is colder than a witch’s tit here. I was on TV today and while I was waiting to be on TV the TV had the time and temperature on the screen. It was noon. It as 37 degrees. What the hell is the sun even doing in Chicago? Why no warming?

One fun thing about being in a cold climate is that people figure out interesting ways to pass the time while they are forced to be inside. Hence a thing called Cornhole.

My friend plays this Cornhole game in a league and she was so kind as to allow me to attend this league last night. It’s like horseshoes, but with bean bags and a wooden thing with a hole cut in it. So I guess it’s not like horseshoes at all really. Other than you stand far away from the wooden thing with the hole and you throw a bean bag toward the wooden thing with the hole. If you get the bean bag in the hole you get 3 points, if you get it just on the wooden thing you get 1 point. Unless the other team does the same thing, then you get no points.

Here is an example of the proper form.

It basically takes place in a bar and the team my friend was playing was named, “Here for the Drink Specials.” So you kinda get the gist of the league. But it was fun and just random enough to be completely entertaining. It is also difficult enough that many, many of the people playing really don’t think that it is entertaining so much as it is very very serious and really quite important. You know how people can get when you involved throwing things.

In other news, I made a random compilation video of a couple of our stops. My good lord do I have a lot of video with which to make random videos. Maybe someday, when I return from my rise to fame, I will edit them all together for you. That will be quite an exciting day indeed.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys

Very dramatic things happening in Chicago. Well, a suburb of Chicago.

After a fun night with friends in Chicago we headed to this suburb and checked into our hotel.

It was about midnight.

I paid the nice lady at the front desk.

We then proceeded to unload the entire tuck full of crap that we are hauling across this great nation of ours.

It’s a lot of crap.

This took awhile.

It also took a luggage cart.

When I was returning the luggage cart I ran into some guys who were locked out of their room. One of them rode down in the elevator with me. We struck up a conversation. He seemed nice. His buddy was at the front desk when I returned the cart.

When I returned to my room I realized I didn’t have my phone.

The $500 Blackberry.

I figured I left it in the car.

I told Edwin to call the phone, while I laid on top of all the crap, to feel if any of it vibrated with the phone call.

No luck.

But.

Someone picked up the phone.

There were voices.

They didn’t realize they were being heard.

We went down to the lobby, as that is where I had to have left the phone. Edwin kept the phone call going, the people on the other end not realizing they were on a phone call.

We asked the lady at the front desk if she’d seen a phone.

She said there was a phone for local calls right there that I could use.

She was confused.

Edwin is pacing around, his phone to his ear listening to the conversation of the phone stealers, trying to find them.

I see the guy from the elevator, ask him if they saw a Blackberry when they checked in. He says no.

I ask the lady at the front desk if anyone besides those guys had checked in at the front desk since I was there, she says no.

The guys come downstairs, they are still unable to get in their room. I ask one of them if they have seen a phone. The man won’t look me in the eye, points to his friend. His friend just shrugs and says no.

These men are lying.

Edwin says that they are the voices he heard on the other end of the phone.

Edwin is not happy.

I go back upstairs, call my phone company, cancel my phone. I have insurance on the phone, so I find out how to get a new phone.

In order to get a new phone I am going to need to call a number and give them numbers and details and other crap, and then they will SEND me a phone.

Cause, you know, I’m not like on the road traveling every day or anything. Totally convenient to send me a phone.

But fine. Okay.

Oh, and they are going to need a police report. FOR A STOLEN PHONE.

Cause, you know, cops have nothing better to do than file police reports for stolen cell phones. People aren’t being killed and raped everyday or anything, so there is plenty of time to follow up on the cell phone criminals.

So I have to call the #!&@#$ cops. Which I do not want to. I do not want these cell phone stealers to know that I called the cops on them. Because if they are the kind of people who will steal a friggin’ cell phone, they are the kind of people that will mess with people who call the cops on people who steal cell phones.

But I have to call the cops. So my cell phone insurance will give me a new phone. In 2-3 working days.

So we call the cops.

AND THEY ACTUALLY SEND A POLICE OFFICER OUT HERE.

Cause, you know, cops have nothing better to do than file police reports for stolen cell phones. People aren’t being killed and raped everyday or anything, so there is plenty of time to follow up on the cell phone criminals.

Crap.

So I go back down where the guys are staying. To tell them that I had to call the cops so that I can file a report, so that I can get my phone replaced. And I don’t want to get them in trouble, I just want to get my phone. But as I’m knocking on their door the cop steps off the elevator. I turn to him and say, “I don’t want to do anything, I just want a police report so I can get a new phone.”

The cop asks if I know who took the phone. I say that I might, but I’m not sure. The cop asks if perhaps the person is in the room that I was just knocking on. I say I don’t know.

I really want the cop to go away. As we are now standing outside the door of the people who are stupid enough to steal a cell phone and are probably stupid enough to mess with people who call cops on people who steal cell phones. I explain that I have to stay at this hotel and I don’t want any trouble. I just ask for a report number and his badge so I can get my new phone.

About this time the dude answers the knock from about 5 minutes prior. Sticks his head out into the hallway, “Did someone knock, it sounded like a tap on the window.”

Did I mention that the whole hallway reeked of weed?

Yeah, it did.

So now the dudes have seen me filling out a report with the cops. So the gig is up. The bad guys are going to seek their revenge anyways. Edwin and I look at each other. As we know that we are done anyways, “So what if we might know where it is?”

The popo says that all he can do is ask them if they might have it. He says to give him a few minutes and he’ll let us know. He also has to see what the front desk lady wants to do about the weed that he smells.

We go back up to the room and look out the window.

There is another cop car now.

This suburb of Chicago? Not much crime going on on Wednesday night, so it would seem.

A few minutes later the front desk calls, “We have your phone.”

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

We go down to my phone and to the cops and they say that they simply went and asked the guys if they had the phone. The guys said no. So the friendly cop said that he was just going to go down to the front desk and replay the security tape they have there, to see what happened to the phone.

The cop went downstairs and wouldn’t ya know, a guy came down a few minutes later with the phone, explaining it was all a mix-up, they have lots of phones like this very one and oopsie, they took mine by mistake.

And then we all had a big laugh and a hug.

The end.

Nebraska

Nebraska smells. Really bad.

Nebraska is also, according to its State Sign, the Home of Arbor Day. I had no idea that a state could claim ownership of a whole day. But apparently Nebraska has. And quite honestly, given the fact that they have to live with that smell all the time, I’m willing to give them Arbor Day. They deserve that much. I might even be willing to throw in Flag Day. It smells that bad.

We are on the road. There is very little to blog about when you spend your entire days in a car. Especially when you are passing through the middle of this country in said car. Just not a lot going on to report back to you.

I am heading to Chicago. I’m sure there are things happening there that I can tell you about in a couple days. For instance, I have a TV segment there in which I have been instructed to be “serious” not “funny”. Apparently it is for some “serious”-type segment about health or something. I wonder how I will do with being “serious”. I have a feeling it will not go so well. It is not in my nature. Sarcasm is a disease. There is nothing I can do about it. It strikes in unknowing, uncontrollable ways. Kinda like tourette’s. You understand my plight. We’ll see how it goes.

We were staying with a cousin of Edwin’s in Colorado. Cousin’s Wife was about 8.7 months pregnant when we arrived. She was scheduled for a C-section next week. That schedule took a bit of a turn last night at about 2 a.m. when she went into labor. So happy birthday to the new baby! If there are any other pregnant women who are nearing their due date and want to speed things up, let me know, we’ll stop on by. It seems that my presence is enough to scare a baby right out into the world.

We have now made it to Des Moines. We will be here for 10 hours or so then head out again, on our way to Oprah’s house in Chicago. I hope she’s made the proper arrangements for my arrival. I don’t know if her compound is quite ready for the amount of paparazzi that follow me everywhere...

Colorado Not-So-Free-ways

Other states are interesting. And by interesting I mean weird.

There is this “freeway” here. It is called a “toll” road. Which always strikes me as odd. Why am I paying to be driving on a friggin’ freeway? But okay. Once in awhile I am forced to stop and throw money at a person wearing latex gloves. It’s one of the things I’ve accepted as completely ridiculous, but also completely unavoidable. I try not to let it bother me.

Until. Colorado.

There is a freeway here. We came in on this freeway the other night. And by the time we came off the freeway we were broke. Seriously. This freeway has a toll booth like every 5 miles. What the? At first I thought it was cute. There is a little sign that says “Cash ½ mile.” I thought it was hilarious. Cause that’s all it says, “Cash ½ mile.” Woo Hoo! Cash in a half a mile!! Unfortunately I found that the cash was mine, and it was to be handed over to the people in the tollbooth.

I missed the first Cash sign and I was bummed because I really wanted to get a picture of it. So I was kinda excited when the next Cash sign came up. Sweet! I can take a picture and document this way funny sign! And then the next Cash sign came up another 5 miles down the road. And another. And then they started losing their cuteness. What the hell?! Why with the $2 every 5 feet? Is there gold lining the highways of Colorado? And! And! THEN you have to pay EXACT change of 75 cents to get OFF THE FRIGGIN’ freeway. There is a little thing that you have to throw the money in as you are exiting.

@#$^&*#$%^%@!!

Colorado has taken all my cash. I am not feeling Rocky Mountain High at all.

Videos

I'm too lazy to type.

So I give you video instead.

First, this is the funniest video EVER. Please note the slow-motion running. TOTALLY natural.



And here is a highlight reel of what we've done so far.

I am very famous. Oprah, take note.

Bored Blogging

I am driving in colorado.

I was previously driving in wyoming.

Before that, Utah.

Today has been just miles of fun.

So I have taken to blogging while I drive. Safe? Yeah probably not so much. But I have been going straight for hundreds of miles, so me thinks there aren't any major swerves coming up.

We are headed to Boulder. It is supposed to be nice there. Honestly, anything will be nice compared to Salt Lake. My lord I did not like it there. I think they designed the streets and freeways to either try to keep people out or to trap them in.

I'm thankful to have made it out. The city of salt and U-turns.

This is more than a little difficult, the blogging with one finger, so I shall go now.

Endless miles and tumbleweeds to you all...

Utah

We are in Salt Lake City now. 11 hours in the car. Three states. Now we are here.

I think it is quite funny that Utah, the land of Mormon is right next door to Nevada, the land of sin. As we were driving on the freeway there was this huge area in the middle of nowhere that had a bunch of casinos and hotels and neon lights and $5.99 Steaks. Then we saw a sign that said “Welcome to Utah”. And that is where all the fun stopped. Nevada had to build a city of sin right on the friggin’ border of Utah. Just to tempt them. Ha.

And speaking of $5.99 steaks. We had quite a lovely steak dinner this evening. We went to a steakhouse in the middle of Nevada and went ahead and ordered a steak. We ordered it medium- well. Methinks that whatever way you order your steak at this steakhouse you just get it the one way they prepare it. That way is well-leather. It was lovely. I ate a lot of the bake potato and corn.

We stopped and ate at the steakhouse because up until that point in the day (8 pm) we had eaten only food that had come from a minimart. Such food is a glorious thing, but occasionally it is a good idea to put something besides donnettes, beef jerky, cotton candy and chips into your body. Roll that all around with some Mountain Dew and you can see why we were happy to see a sign for a steak. Unfortunately, I think the steak might have actually come from the mini-mart too...

I’m off to bed. It is an hour later here. I think. I should look that up or something. So I actually show up on time to my event tomorrow. I wouldn’t want to keep the fans waiting. The two of them may get upset and leave. That is my average, about 2 people at every event. But see, if a store has an event with me then they end up ordering like 20 books and putting them out for people to see. This makes me stand out in huge bookstores and actually results in quite a few books being sold. Which is good. It does not necessarily result in anyone coming to the events. Which is embarrassing

The other night at the Fairfield Barnes and Noble the lady said that they had sold 11 books before I even arrived, because people noticed the poster for the book signing and then took a look at the book and decided to buy it. This was exciting. Less exciting was the fact that only one person actually showed up during my book signing time. My good friend Edwin, always the supporter, said, “It seems as if the poster of your book is actually selling more books than you in person.”

It’s a really good poster though...

Portland Urban Iditarod

So.

This weekend.

I was in Portland.

Because I wrote a book about running I thought we would do a running event while in Portland. It is not my fault that the only running event in Portland this weekend just happened to be one that involved dressing up and “running” from bar to bar. There is nothing I could do about that. It’s not like I planned to be in Portland at that very time, so as to participate in this particular event. It’s not like I said, “Portland and New Orleans are really the only two places I need to hit on my book tour,” when my publicists asked where I wanted to go. Priorities people, it’s all about priorities.

Months ago, when I was planning this crazy tour, I was looking on Active.com for different events and I came across one called The Urban Iditarod. The tagline for the event was, “There are no winners or losers, just belligerent idiots running around.” And I was hooked.

The event is a play on the actual iditarod that takes place in Alaska. In the real iditarod there is a dude that is pulled through snow by a bunch of dogs. In the Urban Iditarod there is someone pushing a shopping cart with four friends pulling the cart. They are all dressed up like idiots. And they are running from bar to bar in downtown Portland.

I could get into the sport of running if it included more events like this.

So I found a couple people in Portland to come out and play on my team. We didn’t quite know what we were going to dress up as, but we knew that the Salvation Army might have just what we were looking for. And I must say the Army came through big time. $20 later we had three and a half costumes and we were ready to join the belligerent idiots.

We decided that we would be rest home escapees. Our costumes included nightgowns, bras (on the outside), some classy hats and even some depends. Oh and some lovely lipstick. We looked awesome.

The most awesome part was the fact that there wasn’t a set route for the event, so people were randomly dressed and randomly running all over downtown from bar to bar. After the first mile or so people started going their own ways, and just ending up at the bars however they saw fit. This meant that the normal citizens of Portland, who were just out for a Saturday stroll, were a little confused by the random people running by with shopping carts and dressed like idiots. They had looks of horror and bewilderment and amusement spread across their faces, “Uh, what are you guys doing?” Some came over and joined in the fun, some kept their children at a safe distance, others said we were going to hell. Most just stared. And shook their heads.

At one point I got separated from the pack and was left to wander the streets of Portland with only one other member of my team. We got some very interesting looks. I started embracing my insanity and began looking around the city as if I were a normal window shopper. I scared the security guard at Tiffany’s when I peeked in the window. And when I got to a building with a ticker tape of stock numbers going around it, I stopped, took out my Blackberry and typed vigorously while screaming, “Sell! Sell!” While dressed in a nightgown with my bra on the outside.

I heart the Urban Iditarod.

For you, my dear readers, I’ve made a little video of our time spent competing in one of the fiercest events in athletics. It ain’t easy running with that much lipstick on, I tell ya.

Put Him in Coach

I am home.

For one night.

Then off for another three weeks.

I will now go sleep in my bed.

I will give you this picture to hold you over until the next blog.

Mom took the picture this month and sent it to me, she understands the importance of the dog outfit making an appearance every month.

He's ready for Spring Training!

I have to admit that this outfit was a bit of a cheat on our part. We didn't make this costume so much as we stole it off the Cabbage Patch Kid in the living room. The Cabbage Patch Kid had arms, so he was a little more able to play baseball. And he didn't look quite as stump-ish. But Fido is a go-getter. I don't think he is going to let a silly thing like no arms get in the way of his Spring Training dreams.

And in the same spirit I am not going to let a silly thing like this blog get in the way of my dreams. Night night.

Bye Bye Oregon

We have left Oregon. We are now back in California for a brief time. Then we head off to the east, on our way across to Chicago. Oprah! Here I come. If anyone cancels an appearance on your show I’d be happy to fill in. I’m an old pro at the tv shows now. Call me. Or, better yet, call my “people”. Cause I have “people” and I’m thinking that they are definitely the ones that should be handling calls from Oprah.

It is very weird to have “people”. God love ‘em they are pimping me out to pretty much anyone who will take their calls. Today I had a book signing at a running place in Eugene, Oregon and while I was there a camera crew from the local news came out to talk to me. I was a bit worried about this, as my last book signing included the signing of only one book and the attendance of only one couple. I didn’t know that this was exactly the kind of event that the local media needed to be made aware of. I feared that they would arrive and there I would be sitting, all by my lonesome, surrounded by books, without an interested patron in sight. Is this something that people need to see on the evening news? I think no.

Thankfully there were some people at this event. Unfortunately most of them were gone by the time the news people arrived. But I did have a couple friends with me (my entourage, you know) and so they stood there and talked to me, looking all interested and informed by me and my book. News at 11.

We had quite a lot of fun this weekend. There are pictures. I will not get into the fun, as without the pictures it’s just hardly worth it. But I will say that three ladies, $20 at the Salvation Army, a shopping cart and 500 drunken idiots add up to a lot of fun.

I must go sleep now.

And Next Up...

Do you ever feel like you are on candid camera? For days at a time?

Today I went to another morning show appearance. It went well. And it once again went after a horrifying life story. Whyyyyyyy? You might recall last weekend when I had the good fortune to follow a man who had spent his youth as a child soldier in Africa. It was ever so much fun to make jokes about sports bras after stories of torture and death.

Then today.

I entered the green room and met the woman who would be going on before me. She runs a hotline for abused American women who are stuck in foreign countries and can’t get out. She started this hotline because she was an abused American woman stuck in a foreign country who couldn’t get out. She and her children endured years of abuse at the hands of her husband. She finally escaped, made it back here, started her hotline and is now up for huge award for Really Important People with Really Important Stories to Tell. Or something.

After the producer got done talking to this force of nature and inspiration enough for 8 Lifetime movies she turned to me, “I couldn’t find any Body Glide to bring as a prop, but one time when I ran out of Body Glide I just rubbed lip gloss on me and that worked too, so maybe we can use that!”

I literally was on right after the Harrowing Life Tale Woman. I was talking about sports bras and the Milkshake song.

Who books these shows?

And then my mom went to the website to try to find a clip of the most inspiring story ever told, and maybe a little bit of me going on about short shorts. Once she got to the site she found my book. It was listed with another book:
Mom told me I need to start working on a sympathy angle real quick.

Today

It sure does snow a lot in other states. A really lot.

Tonight we made our way from Bend, OR to the Portland, OR area. I will not go into detail about how much snow we encountered along the way, because my dear mother reads this blog and is not doing so well with my winter traveling plans.

We will be here until Sunday. I’m glad to be in one place for more than a few hours. Constantly being on the road is not nearly as much fun as all those truck drivers make it out to be. Maybe if we had a cool horn we could pull and honk. That might be the difference.

In our truck not only do we not have a cool horn, we also do not have much room. I am not driving, my Camera Guy Edwin is driving, so that I can try to remain Homeowner Dawn. I’ve got my laptop, my Blackberry and a wireless internet connection. It’s an office on wheels really. And again, it’s not as much fun as things on wheels usually are.

I am terribly impressed with the reach of this wireless internet thingy though. We were driving in the middle of nowhere today for about 95% of the day and yet I was still on the internet, and able to continue to do my work and get it to my clients. Technology can be amazing.

Another thing that is amazing? This picture:

Why? Why are we putting cheese inside of tater tots? Why? Are we just not wanting to deal with those last few years of our lives? Do we just need to take our arteries for a test drive every once in awhile?

I dunno.

What I do know:

Is that the Burger is definitely worthy of it’s own “ville”.

Tonight (post-cheesey tots, pre-Burgerville) I went to a book signing. And apparently the event took its name quite literally. I signed one book. No one else came. Well, that’s not true. Camera Guy Edwin and my Aunt and Uncle came. But everyone else was sane and decided that snow is not a fun thing to be out in.

Oh well. At least the evening included a trip to Burgerville...so all was not lost.