Kamping

My friends and I are going camping this weekend. I’m looking forward to the beach. I’m looking forward to spending time with my friends. I’m looking forward to getting away from work for more than a 20 minute block of time.

I’m not so much looking forward to the actual camping part of the trip.

Can someone please explain the allure of camping? Anyone. Explain to me why I would ever want to leave my home and go sleep outside on the ground for two days. Some people call that “poverty”. We call it a “vacation”. Hmmm.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all about nature’s beauty and all that crap. But why can’t I be all about the beauty and then go back to my hotel room? Is my question. What is so beautiful about nature at night? And I’m not sure, but I seriously doubt any of that beauty can be found by sleeping on dirt. Or maybe I’m too busy cracking my back and pulling rocks out of my ribcage to fully appreciate all the wonder.

Last year this camping trip was a little less nature and a little more highway. We got a Kabin at KOA Kampgrounds. We called it “Camping with a ‘K’”. I’m not sure if that’s cause that’s the slogan of the campground, or because we needed to make a very clear distinction between camping and what we were doing at KOA.

Is KOA a nationwide thing? Is the need to camp 5 feet from the freeway a nationwide thing? Or is that strictly a Californian thing? I don’t know. Californians spend about 90% of our time on the freeway, so maybe that is why we figure we might as well vacation there as well. What I know for sure is that if you are ever trying to find a KOA Kampground and you can’t see it from the freeway, then keep going, cause you aren’t there yet.

These campgrounds baffle me even more than camping itself. If you’re going to go camping, going to voluntarily leave your shelter and brave the outdoors, why not go ahead and go to the REAL wilderness, not just the closest thing with the word “kampground” on it.

When we pulled up to the kampground we noticed quite a few features that you don’t find at most campgrounds. First, the general store. Isn’t camping all about roughing it? Is it really roughing it if you can go get a slurpee at any given time? (Coincidently my version of “roughing it” tends to kick in exactly when slurpees become unavailable.) Second, laundry facilities. At a campground. Third, a swimming pool. Aren’t you supposed to swim in lakes and streams and waterfalls while camping? Literally immersing yourself in nature’s beauty? Not a lot a beauty to be found in an uncleaned public pool. Forth, little cabins. Oh, sorry, Kabins. To me camping really has to involve a tent to be considered camping. If there’s no tent then you are no longer “camping”, you are “on a getaway”.

Not that there is anything wrong with getaways. We had a fine time in our little Kabin. It even had a swing on the front porch. Where we sat all weekend and took in all the beauty of nature. We had to sit there all weekend to finally be able to notice the beauty of nature beyond the kids splashing in the pool, the cars speeding by on the freeway and the wash machine on a violent spin cycle.

Aaaaaahhhhh. Nature.