Bad Boys, Bad Boys

Very dramatic things happening in Chicago. Well, a suburb of Chicago.

After a fun night with friends in Chicago we headed to this suburb and checked into our hotel.

It was about midnight.

I paid the nice lady at the front desk.

We then proceeded to unload the entire tuck full of crap that we are hauling across this great nation of ours.

It’s a lot of crap.

This took awhile.

It also took a luggage cart.

When I was returning the luggage cart I ran into some guys who were locked out of their room. One of them rode down in the elevator with me. We struck up a conversation. He seemed nice. His buddy was at the front desk when I returned the cart.

When I returned to my room I realized I didn’t have my phone.

The $500 Blackberry.

I figured I left it in the car.

I told Edwin to call the phone, while I laid on top of all the crap, to feel if any of it vibrated with the phone call.

No luck.

But.

Someone picked up the phone.

There were voices.

They didn’t realize they were being heard.

We went down to the lobby, as that is where I had to have left the phone. Edwin kept the phone call going, the people on the other end not realizing they were on a phone call.

We asked the lady at the front desk if she’d seen a phone.

She said there was a phone for local calls right there that I could use.

She was confused.

Edwin is pacing around, his phone to his ear listening to the conversation of the phone stealers, trying to find them.

I see the guy from the elevator, ask him if they saw a Blackberry when they checked in. He says no.

I ask the lady at the front desk if anyone besides those guys had checked in at the front desk since I was there, she says no.

The guys come downstairs, they are still unable to get in their room. I ask one of them if they have seen a phone. The man won’t look me in the eye, points to his friend. His friend just shrugs and says no.

These men are lying.

Edwin says that they are the voices he heard on the other end of the phone.

Edwin is not happy.

I go back upstairs, call my phone company, cancel my phone. I have insurance on the phone, so I find out how to get a new phone.

In order to get a new phone I am going to need to call a number and give them numbers and details and other crap, and then they will SEND me a phone.

Cause, you know, I’m not like on the road traveling every day or anything. Totally convenient to send me a phone.

But fine. Okay.

Oh, and they are going to need a police report. FOR A STOLEN PHONE.

Cause, you know, cops have nothing better to do than file police reports for stolen cell phones. People aren’t being killed and raped everyday or anything, so there is plenty of time to follow up on the cell phone criminals.

So I have to call the #!&@#$ cops. Which I do not want to. I do not want these cell phone stealers to know that I called the cops on them. Because if they are the kind of people who will steal a friggin’ cell phone, they are the kind of people that will mess with people who call the cops on people who steal cell phones.

But I have to call the cops. So my cell phone insurance will give me a new phone. In 2-3 working days.

So we call the cops.

AND THEY ACTUALLY SEND A POLICE OFFICER OUT HERE.

Cause, you know, cops have nothing better to do than file police reports for stolen cell phones. People aren’t being killed and raped everyday or anything, so there is plenty of time to follow up on the cell phone criminals.

Crap.

So I go back down where the guys are staying. To tell them that I had to call the cops so that I can file a report, so that I can get my phone replaced. And I don’t want to get them in trouble, I just want to get my phone. But as I’m knocking on their door the cop steps off the elevator. I turn to him and say, “I don’t want to do anything, I just want a police report so I can get a new phone.”

The cop asks if I know who took the phone. I say that I might, but I’m not sure. The cop asks if perhaps the person is in the room that I was just knocking on. I say I don’t know.

I really want the cop to go away. As we are now standing outside the door of the people who are stupid enough to steal a cell phone and are probably stupid enough to mess with people who call cops on people who steal cell phones. I explain that I have to stay at this hotel and I don’t want any trouble. I just ask for a report number and his badge so I can get my new phone.

About this time the dude answers the knock from about 5 minutes prior. Sticks his head out into the hallway, “Did someone knock, it sounded like a tap on the window.”

Did I mention that the whole hallway reeked of weed?

Yeah, it did.

So now the dudes have seen me filling out a report with the cops. So the gig is up. The bad guys are going to seek their revenge anyways. Edwin and I look at each other. As we know that we are done anyways, “So what if we might know where it is?”

The popo says that all he can do is ask them if they might have it. He says to give him a few minutes and he’ll let us know. He also has to see what the front desk lady wants to do about the weed that he smells.

We go back up to the room and look out the window.

There is another cop car now.

This suburb of Chicago? Not much crime going on on Wednesday night, so it would seem.

A few minutes later the front desk calls, “We have your phone.”

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

We go down to my phone and to the cops and they say that they simply went and asked the guys if they had the phone. The guys said no. So the friendly cop said that he was just going to go down to the front desk and replay the security tape they have there, to see what happened to the phone.

The cop went downstairs and wouldn’t ya know, a guy came down a few minutes later with the phone, explaining it was all a mix-up, they have lots of phones like this very one and oopsie, they took mine by mistake.

And then we all had a big laugh and a hug.

The end.