The Roommate and I decided to hire a housekeeper. Because we do not enjoy doing housework. I enjoy it so little I haven’t done it once in the three years that I’ve lived here. Honestly, except for the time I lived with a girl who was going to give birth IN our home I don’t think I’ve ever participated in house cleaning. (I was so frightened by the concept of someone giving birth in my home that in order to calm my nerves I convinced myself that a CLEAN house would make the whole “birth without any doctors or machines” thing perfectly safe. Who needs trained medical professionals when your windows are spot-free?)
So anyways, my homes have always stayed relatively clean because I’ve always had roommates who enjoyed cleaning. Well, they probably didn’t “enjoy cleaning” so much as they “didn’t enjoy a dirty house”. But either way, they seemed to clean every once in awhile. And so I didn’t worry about it.
It’s not like I’m a slob though. I clean up after myself and make sure that there is never any clutter around the house. But apparently a clean house involves more than just putting everything in its place. There’s like stuff you’re supposed to scrub and vacuum and shine. Who has the energy for all that? Not me. And apparently not The Roommate either.
She hasn’t always been this way though. When she first moved in I noticed she brought an industrial-size container of Pine Sol with her. I kid you friggin’ not, this thing was huge. I can never in my life imagine ever needing that much Pine Sol. Ever. But then again, I’ve cleaned once in 10 years, so cleaning products aren’t really on my shopping list. But still.
Upon further inspection of the Pine Sol I noticed that the huge container was over half empty. Which means she really enjoyed using Pine Sol. And every once in awhile I’d come home and be hit with a wave of Pine Sol after The Roommate had doused the entire house in it.
But apparently she has now lost the energy to throw Pine Sol haphazardly on various portions of the house. So we had to hire a housekeeper. I know you are thinking, “Just get off your lazy butt and clean your house.” And I’m thinking, “Seriously, what are the odds that’s gonna happen?”
So the housekeeper gave us a list of stuff she needed us to buy. You know, soapy-shiney-cleany things. And I thought The Roommate was actually going to weep when Pine Sol was not on the list. “She didn’t even mention Pine Sol.” She seemed to take it as an insult to her cleaning abilities that a professional did not use her cleaner of choice.
So on the housekeeper’s first day I came downstairs and saw all of the various products that had been purchased and right out in front sat the mighty container o’ Pine Sol. As if it were merely making an innocent suggestion.
I decided to take a picture:
So anyways, my homes have always stayed relatively clean because I’ve always had roommates who enjoyed cleaning. Well, they probably didn’t “enjoy cleaning” so much as they “didn’t enjoy a dirty house”. But either way, they seemed to clean every once in awhile. And so I didn’t worry about it.
It’s not like I’m a slob though. I clean up after myself and make sure that there is never any clutter around the house. But apparently a clean house involves more than just putting everything in its place. There’s like stuff you’re supposed to scrub and vacuum and shine. Who has the energy for all that? Not me. And apparently not The Roommate either.
She hasn’t always been this way though. When she first moved in I noticed she brought an industrial-size container of Pine Sol with her. I kid you friggin’ not, this thing was huge. I can never in my life imagine ever needing that much Pine Sol. Ever. But then again, I’ve cleaned once in 10 years, so cleaning products aren’t really on my shopping list. But still.
Upon further inspection of the Pine Sol I noticed that the huge container was over half empty. Which means she really enjoyed using Pine Sol. And every once in awhile I’d come home and be hit with a wave of Pine Sol after The Roommate had doused the entire house in it.
But apparently she has now lost the energy to throw Pine Sol haphazardly on various portions of the house. So we had to hire a housekeeper. I know you are thinking, “Just get off your lazy butt and clean your house.” And I’m thinking, “Seriously, what are the odds that’s gonna happen?”
So the housekeeper gave us a list of stuff she needed us to buy. You know, soapy-shiney-cleany things. And I thought The Roommate was actually going to weep when Pine Sol was not on the list. “She didn’t even mention Pine Sol.” She seemed to take it as an insult to her cleaning abilities that a professional did not use her cleaner of choice.
So on the housekeeper’s first day I came downstairs and saw all of the various products that had been purchased and right out in front sat the mighty container o’ Pine Sol. As if it were merely making an innocent suggestion.
I decided to take a picture:
I put my Mountain Dew can next to the Pine Sol so that you would be able to see how big the Pine Sol was in comparison. But then I realized that I'd just taken a picture that perfectly symbolizes my roommate and I. She’s Pine Sol and I’m Mountain Dew. Each of us sees absolutely no problem buying our respective products in bulk sizes. Hers probably doesn’t go quite as well with her morning bagel as mine does though…
2 comments:
where the hell do you even buy something in an "institutional size" anyway?
me, i'm a slave to clorox. but that's just my cleaning drug of choice. we all have our demons and i salute The Roommate for sticking by her's.
Holy Smokes!
Thats one mighty jug of Pine Sol. Egads, I can't imagine using that much in a year.
Well, at least you will have a fresh, sparkling home. Someone should alert "Save the Dust Bunnies" that there are soon going to be a lot of homeless dust mites, etc.
I would say make sure she dusts the TV screen, but I am sure that was first on your list (hahaha).
Post a Comment