My mother has been retired (along with my father) for about a year and a half. Although they are retired my parents are actually quite young. (For retired folk) In the olden days people retired basically because they were too old to continue doing any sort of work. Their employers would let them go home because they didn’t want to be held responsible for the discarding of the body after the employee just keeled over.
But nowadays people are retiring in their 50’s and living until their 90’s. Which leaves a loooooong time to sit around and do nothing. Like 40 years worth of time. Like 14,600 days. That’s a lot of cruises and a lot of trips to the craft store. So when my parents decided to retire I was happy for them, but was a worried that they would get bored.
“PAHTAH!” was the answer I got. “I’ve been working for 30 years! I will not be BORED! I’ll LOVE it!”
And they have. They have taken to it quite well, this life of not having to do anything or be anywhere. They’ve been on like 6 cruises, they’ve driven across the country, my mom has taken up quilting, my dad has taken in a homeless big screen TV, and they’ve both been able to rest after putting in 30 years of hard work.
But then again, they worked for the state…so I think they’re all rested up now. My dad’s worn out his recliner, my mom has covered every inch of wall and furniture space with a quilt and they are spending more time together than is recommended by any practicing psychologist.
But they still won’t admit that they are bored. Because to them the opposite of bored is working 40 hours a week. And they’d rather play 453 consecutive games of Spider Solitaire than go back to working.
But every once in awhile the boredom gets out of control. I am their favorite child (which would be true even if I wasn’t their only child) and therefore am the benefactor of my mother’s boredom. She sews my pants, she picks things up at the store that I mention needing, she runs little errands for me while she’s out. Oh, and she compiles detailed analysis of my cell phone usage.
Huh?
I’ve had the same phone number since I was a wee little child and for some reason I’ve just kept my phone on my mom’s phone bill. She gets the bill and I pay her every month. And every month she is appalled at the bill. “This month it was $195, $15 of that was mine. Honey, this is just stupid. It’s not normal to spend that much money on a phone.”
This coming from a woman who has had a voicemail on her phone for 8 months. Because she has no idea how to get to it. We might have slightly different cell phone habits. But God love her, she wants to help me. So today I get an e-mail:
But nowadays people are retiring in their 50’s and living until their 90’s. Which leaves a loooooong time to sit around and do nothing. Like 40 years worth of time. Like 14,600 days. That’s a lot of cruises and a lot of trips to the craft store. So when my parents decided to retire I was happy for them, but was a worried that they would get bored.
“PAHTAH!” was the answer I got. “I’ve been working for 30 years! I will not be BORED! I’ll LOVE it!”
And they have. They have taken to it quite well, this life of not having to do anything or be anywhere. They’ve been on like 6 cruises, they’ve driven across the country, my mom has taken up quilting, my dad has taken in a homeless big screen TV, and they’ve both been able to rest after putting in 30 years of hard work.
But then again, they worked for the state…so I think they’re all rested up now. My dad’s worn out his recliner, my mom has covered every inch of wall and furniture space with a quilt and they are spending more time together than is recommended by any practicing psychologist.
But they still won’t admit that they are bored. Because to them the opposite of bored is working 40 hours a week. And they’d rather play 453 consecutive games of Spider Solitaire than go back to working.
But every once in awhile the boredom gets out of control. I am their favorite child (which would be true even if I wasn’t their only child) and therefore am the benefactor of my mother’s boredom. She sews my pants, she picks things up at the store that I mention needing, she runs little errands for me while she’s out. Oh, and she compiles detailed analysis of my cell phone usage.
Huh?
I’ve had the same phone number since I was a wee little child and for some reason I’ve just kept my phone on my mom’s phone bill. She gets the bill and I pay her every month. And every month she is appalled at the bill. “This month it was $195, $15 of that was mine. Honey, this is just stupid. It’s not normal to spend that much money on a phone.”
This coming from a woman who has had a voicemail on her phone for 8 months. Because she has no idea how to get to it. We might have slightly different cell phone habits. But God love her, she wants to help me. So today I get an e-mail:
“I did a comparison chart on your Verizon bills since January. You talk an average of 1732 minutes/month and it costs you an average of $118.80/month. There is a plan on Verizon for 2000 minutes per month for $99.99 and $.25/extra minute. Check it out.”
A “comparison chart”? Seriously.
I am both deeply concerned and deeply touched by her breakdown of my cell phone minutes. I’m concerned because obviously she’s slipped into Danger Boredom Zone and I fear she may soon resort to various chemical equations in order to entertain herself. I am also touched by the fact that, in her time of great boredom, she thought to try to help me out. I can name not one other person on the planet who would say, “Geez, I’m bored, maybe I’ll take this time to see I can figure out any way to make Dawn’s life a little better.” Hell I don't even do that when I' m bored. I just talk on the phone instead.
And that’s why we have moms. Cause who else is going to compile our comparison charts?
I am both deeply concerned and deeply touched by her breakdown of my cell phone minutes. I’m concerned because obviously she’s slipped into Danger Boredom Zone and I fear she may soon resort to various chemical equations in order to entertain herself. I am also touched by the fact that, in her time of great boredom, she thought to try to help me out. I can name not one other person on the planet who would say, “Geez, I’m bored, maybe I’ll take this time to see I can figure out any way to make Dawn’s life a little better.” Hell I don't even do that when I' m bored. I just talk on the phone instead.
And that’s why we have moms. Cause who else is going to compile our comparison charts?
10 comments:
How very cool to have a Mom like yours. Although if her taste in dwarves has carried to her quilting that could be something else entirely to deal with.
If they get to bored and you need a break, pass them along to me. I am sure I could use a quilt or my bills organized. But please note if they begin to pamper me, I will not return them.
i'm next, after dean, i swear, i called dibs next!!
Betty Lou rocks!
She does, indeed, rock.
And step off people, they're mine.
I've got plenty of bills to keep them busy.
Your mother sounds just like my MIL haha. Just a couple weeks ago we got an e-mail with a similar comparison of our car insurance vs. other car insurance places. Who needs Progressive? :)
Dawn.....your new picture is scary. It looks like you should star in the "Blare Witch Project". Oh by the way, I love your parents too, but I don't love their bumpy gravel walkway(It hurts when you walk barefoot on it)5! Maybe they should spend the time re-doing that! :)
Fine, Jen, I changed my picture. The last one was from like Christmas, who knows what year, I've had like 45 different hair colors since then. I thought it was time to change the pic.
The other picture was fun. Although the new picture is very nice.
I will hope you win the lottery one day and then I can have your parents.
Thanks to all of you for your supportive comments. The one thing Dawn neglected to mention is that her phone is on my bill because she has such LOUSY credit, she can't get a phone in her own name. But I still love her! So, Chipper Jen, maybe I can start filing those rocks down--that will keep me busy for a while.--mom
Or, Dawn...you could have gotten MY mom [also retired]. I call her my "birthshark" and I haven't seen her in 3 1/2 months [She lives five miles away]. You do the math...er, spreadsheet.
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