Best Role Model Ever

I got the kid some new board games the other day. Because we have been playing the same damn board games for like 7 years and I’m quite bored with them. Pun totally intended. If I Herded my Horses one more time I was going to start slaughtering the horses, and then you kinda lose the innocent fun intended in a board game.

So then. We went to Toys R Us and bought a few games. Can I just tell you that board games aren’t cheap? Three games cost me like 60 bucks. Geez. If we were buying them more than every 7 years I might think that $60 was too much. But then again, I would pay just about anything to stop Herding the Horses.

We bought a couple good games, a card thing and the gold standard “Life”. But then we also saw this game:


Mall Madness. How much fun does this look? And I don’t even like to shop. My favorite part is the white-haired chick who is saying “Chaaaaaarge!” Seriously is this not the best thing ever for a child? I really think that it’s never too early to teach the kids how to stimulate the economy, even when you don’t have any money in the bank. “Chaaaaaaarge!” indeed. Love it.

Then we set up the game. We barely had time to actually play the game after we set it up for a good hour. Look at this thing:


Can you tell that it is 3D? It is. There are two floors to this mall and it even has escalators in the middle. And right by the escalator is a little slot labeled ATM. Where you can go and swipe your card and it tells you how much money you get from the ATM. You have to use up your turn to get to the ATM, but it is a little unrealistic because you can go back as many times as you want and get more money. This is not exactly how real ATMs work. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Another great thing about this game? No dice. Who has time for all that silly rolling and adding up of the dice? Not me. I’m too busy yelling “Chaaaaaaaarge!”. So you just push that button in the middle and it tells you how many spaces to move.

Seriously, this is the best, most positive game ever. Thinking and stimulating kids’ brains is really quite overrated. That’s what PBS is for. This is game playing time, we don’t have time for adding or anything remotely enriching!

Anyone need a babysitter? I’m available. I’ll bring over the new Casino Craziness board game I bought, it will be a great time.