Lunch

I’m at lunch. It’s 3 o’clock. I think most people enjoy lunch around say, I dunno, lunchtime. But me? Not so much. First of all, my talk radio show goes until 2, with three hours of dead air in my brain after that. So why would I want to take a break before the dead air? Second of all, the later I wait for lunch the less time I have to wait after lunch before I get to flee the building. A couple times last week I had to take lunch at noonish and I about died in the post-lunch hours, because they were double what they usually are. I was ready to pack up and go home and it was only 3 o’clock. That is no good.

Forth, there is a sushi place downstairs in the building where I work. I imagine it is full during lunch time with people eating lunch. Whereas at 3, I’m the only person in here. On my computer, doing some work, eating some raw fish, minding my own business. With 5 sushi worker people hovering around me, giving me all of their attention. The attention is not so good, but the sushi is (2.3 seconds after I sit down at least two of them are standing, smiling, holding their order pad things, staring at me. “You order?” “Uh, I look at menu for another 4 seconds or so, then I order.” “Perma-smile with nod.” 4.5 seconds later, “You order?”)

And so I order. You know on those shows where they try to get you to get a handle on your spending by keeping track of every single thing you buy, so that at the end of the month you can look and go, “Good god, that’s a lot of danishes!” And then you start buying your danishes from Costco instead of Starbucks and in two months you’re out of debt? Yeah, I don’t do that. Because concentrating that hard on money is a sure-fire way for me to never see any come my way ever again. But if I did do that I think I would be looking into buying sushi from Costco. Even before I started working 200 feet above a sushi restaurant I spent a ridiculous amount of money on raw fish. It ain’t right. When I moved into my condo I was a bit worried that there was a sushi place right next door to it. This was not going to be good new for my attempts to pay my mortgage. I was quite thankful when I found that their tempura shrimp tasted like bunghole. So therefore I don’t spend my electricity bill on seafood. At least not that seafood.

But you know what else is in that damn parking lot? A Togos. That’s a sandwich shop out here. Are they national? I dunno. What I do know if that they are the devil because they joined forces with 31 Flavors, the ice cream shop out here. So when you walk in and you are going to be good and you are going to get a sandwich, bam! right in front of you is a friggin ice cream parlor. Jesus.

I have 6 pints of ice cream in my freezer right now. And 12 Mountain Dews. And that’s pretty much it. I have problems.

And I have to get back to work...