Finally Finale

So I was finally able to my LOST season finale this weekend. Thank the lord in heaven that this movie I’m working on didn’t start shooting in the middle of the TV season or I would have probably had to quit in order to keep up on my mandatory TV viewing. I’m a good three weeks behind on viewing a very important season finale. That is simply unacceptable. There are certain things in life I’m good at. Sleeping and TV viewing are two of them. In fact, sleeping and TV viewing are probably the only two. In the past two weeks I haven’t been able to partake in either one of these talents with the frequency and length with which I have become accustomed. As a result I feel as though a small part of me has died. Or maybe that’s just the lingering indigestion from the bad catering food we had on the set this week. Could be either one really.

So I watched LOST finally and have some general observations about the show:

1.) First of all, you guys are on a hit show, there is no way you are getting off that island any time soon – so get off the stupid boat and go make yourself useful by hunting some boar.

2.) Does it seem weird that every single one of these people has a backpack? How many people travel with backpacks? Backpackers do. And so do students and probably young people in general. But on the whole, when you get on a plane, how many people do you see boarding wearing a backpack? Not that many. And now all of these people are running around the island, looking like they are straight out of some sort of World Hiker’s magazine.

3.) I’m still confused by the use of the name ‘Charlie’. Matthew Fox, the guy that plays the “jungle doctor” (as one my friends calls him), was last seen on the show “Party of Five”. I loved this show. There were five kids raising themselves after the death of their parents. They laughed, they cried, they grew up, they cried some more, they got pregnant, they cried, they got into car accidents, they cried. It was great. On this show Matthew Fox played a character named Charlie. Now I understand that he is now on another show and he is no longer an orphan and is now a jungle doctor, but why did the writers have to name one of the LOST characters ‘Charlie’? Whyyyy? Whenever someone says, “Go get Charlie.” and then that funny looking guy with the accent shows up I’m like, “What the hell is that guy doing here? Where’s Charlie?”

I might have some issues dealing with change.

4.) Okay, I get that this is a magical island, but I still take issue with Locke all of a sudden being able to walk. Even if he all of a sudden was able to walk there is no way that after years of being paralyzed the muscles in his legs would be able to hold him up, it just wouldn’t happen. I expressed this complaint with a friend of mine and he said, “Oh, but you have no problem with there being friggin’ POLAR BEAR on the island?”

5.) What’s up with the polar bear?

6.) I don’t care what kind of explanation they come up with, Kate’s obsession with that stupid toy airplane is dumb. Now, I’m as sentimental as the next girl (I hide it really, really well) but if I’m on the lam I’m not going to risk going to jail for the rest of my life for some stupid toy. (Unless it was one of those old Atari video games. Cause those things rock and are really hard to find now.)

7.) Am I the only one that really has no idea what is going on this show?

8.) Am I the only one that really wouldn’t care that she didn’t know what was going on, as long as some people started making out? I mean, come on. We’re going along with you on this stupid “unlucky numbers” hogwash, we’ve put up with the completely unexplained kidnapping of the pregnant girl, and we’ve even stood by while you had a brother and sister have sex. Can we at least get a little romance on this god-forsaken island? Kate is a lying, deceiving murderer. Why not make her a slut as well? I don’t understand crazy invisible monsters, or crazy French women or crazy hatches in the ground. But I do understand a good love affair. At this point I don’t care if she hooks up with Jungle Doctor or Tortured Blond Guy – she just needs to make out with one of them instead of spending all her time frowning and looking generally troubled. Kate, honey, you’re show’s hit, you aren’t getting off that island anytime soon. So why don’t you make the most of it, pick a cute guy, go build one of those Swiss Family Robinson treehouses and start being more Blue Lagoon and less X-Files.

Thank you.