I have nothing funny to say today. Usually something funny happens during the day and I make a mental note to blog about it later. But there are now two things wrong with that practice: 1) Given my insane work schedule lately I haven’t had time to engage in anything funny and 2.) Even if I did engage in something funny I don’t have the mental acuity to make any sort of mental note about it.
Also, I fear that my sense of humor is becoming altered a bit. I’m surrounded only by other people who are severely sleep deprived and overly sun burnt. I’m assuming that the things we find humorous would not be nearly as entertaining to people whose brains are actually functioning properly. For instance, today I stole the entire tub of Laffy Taffy from the catering table and proceeded to read every one of their jokes (two laffy's per taffy) to a co-worker who also has a melted brain.
We were laughing so hard we attracted others to our ‘group o’ funny’ and they were only slightly put-off by the fact that we were hysterically laughing over, “What do you call a tick on the moon? A lunar-tick.” Ba dup bup baah! Thank you, thank you, we’ll be here all week. “What school do you go to to learn how to greet people?” someone guessed, “Hi School.” And she was right. You would think she had won Jeopardy, for as many high fives as she got. After, “What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? Weeeeeee.” everyone was laughing. Hysterically. In that way you laugh and when someone asks you what you’re laughing about you say, “I really have no idea.” Picture 10 people in that state. Then picture someone directing them to the shaded area where they could find bottled waters and a moist towel to put on their foreheads.
When the wit and sublime humor of Laffy Taffy push you over into fits of laughter you have to question your funny meter and wonder if it too might be sun-damaged. So I fear that anything I write will only be funny if you stick your head in a microwave before reading it.
“Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?”
“Cause he had a hole in one.”
The popcorn setting of the microwave should be just enough to make this entire ramble absolutely HILARIOUS.
Also, I fear that my sense of humor is becoming altered a bit. I’m surrounded only by other people who are severely sleep deprived and overly sun burnt. I’m assuming that the things we find humorous would not be nearly as entertaining to people whose brains are actually functioning properly. For instance, today I stole the entire tub of Laffy Taffy from the catering table and proceeded to read every one of their jokes (two laffy's per taffy) to a co-worker who also has a melted brain.
We were laughing so hard we attracted others to our ‘group o’ funny’ and they were only slightly put-off by the fact that we were hysterically laughing over, “What do you call a tick on the moon? A lunar-tick.” Ba dup bup baah! Thank you, thank you, we’ll be here all week. “What school do you go to to learn how to greet people?” someone guessed, “Hi School.” And she was right. You would think she had won Jeopardy, for as many high fives as she got. After, “What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? Weeeeeee.” everyone was laughing. Hysterically. In that way you laugh and when someone asks you what you’re laughing about you say, “I really have no idea.” Picture 10 people in that state. Then picture someone directing them to the shaded area where they could find bottled waters and a moist towel to put on their foreheads.
When the wit and sublime humor of Laffy Taffy push you over into fits of laughter you have to question your funny meter and wonder if it too might be sun-damaged. So I fear that anything I write will only be funny if you stick your head in a microwave before reading it.
“Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?”
“Cause he had a hole in one.”
The popcorn setting of the microwave should be just enough to make this entire ramble absolutely HILARIOUS.
2 comments:
Laffy Taffy jokes are always a good way to get a giggle. And you lied. You said you weren't going to say anything funny and you did. You told that snail joke. It cracked me up. Not to mention that you opened all of them up to read the jokes. Where are you working that everyone is sweatting and swelling, getting delirious? Death Valley? I mean, you are only in Sacramento for Criminey's sake. At least you weren't opening boxes of Junior Mints, cause those get really melty and will clump up in a matter of seconds. Please don't say I know because that would make me sad to think you have already have already done that. We've all held Junior Mints in our hand a little too long so we know what the clumpy goo feels like...gross...
I hope you keep writing on here because even when you think you aren't funny you are hilarious.
The lunar-tick joke was hysterical!
Thank you for sharing your day.
PS: I love Junior Mints!
-Dean
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