Are the radio stations kidding me with the Christmas songs? I mean really. It’s not even December yet and they are already playing Christmas songs. Come on.
And everywhere I look there is Christmas cheer and warm wishes and what not. It’s already making me ill. Last weekend my roommate was all ready to go get the Christmas tree, cause “We want to have as much time as we can with it.” Apparently there is quality time to be had with the Christmas tree. I did not know that. But it makes sense, seeing as though we bring it into our house to die. Kinda like we are operating a Christmas tree hospice in our home, guiding the tree on its peaceful journey to the other side. Hopefully a Christmas tree doesn’t have to go towards the white light when it dies, as that might be confusing, seeing as though it’s coming from quite a few white lights. That are wrapped around it.
Last year my blond, positive roommate turned on the Christmas carols and poured eggnog when we were decorating. I grabbed a Mountain Dew instead. When I saw a look of genuine disappointment spread across her face I said, “Look, the can is green! Festive!” In that same spirit of the holiday I thought I would share with you a holiday song I made up last year. These are just the lyrics, I’ll have to see if I can upload the actual singing of the song later. It is my hope that this song travels the land this year and maybe if I’m lucky, someday I’ll turn my radio on in mid-October and I’ll hear these very words. It’s a little ditty I like to call:
Chriskwanzikah!
I do Chriskwanzikah cause I wannika
Get lots of presents for me!
There’s Christmas and Hanukkah
Why not make it three?
So they made up Merry Kwanzaa
For seven more days of fun
Gather round now, get closer
The fun has just begun!
Ba ba ba ba
Put your yamikah on, it’ll be so much fun
As we gather around the tree
Opening presents wrapped in red and blue
And sing a little R&B
We’ll deck the halls and eat matzah balls
And do a Soul Train in the snow
Three sistas throw a dreidel at Santa Claus
Sayin’ “Who ya callin’ Ho Ho Ho?”
Ba ba ba ba
BA BA BA BA
I do Chriskwanzikah cause I wannika
Get lots of presents for me!
There’s Christmas and Hanukkah
Why not make it three?
So they made up Merry Kwanzaa
For seven more days of fun
Gather round now, get closer
The fun has just begun!
Ba ba ba ba
BA BA BA BA
The menorah's lit, the eggnog's a hit
And we’ve all had too many sweets
Rabbi Sam talks about Bethlehem
And that Kwanzaa guy from Long Beach
It’s so much fun for everyone
Whether you’re black or white or an elf
We got holiday cheer coming out our ears
So try to control yourself!
Ba ba ba ba
BA BA BA BA
I do Chriskwanzikah cause I wannika
Get lots of presents for me!
There’s Christmas and Hanukkah
Why not make it three?
So they made up Merry Kwanzaa
For seven more days of fun
Gather round now, get closer
The fun has just begun!
Ba ba ba ba
BA BA BA BA
I know, I know. It’s a catchy little number. And informational as well. Did you know that Kwanzaa was started by a guy in Long Beach? You do now, because of my cross-cultural song of peace and matzah balls.
God bless us everyone.
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4 comments:
HAHAHAHAH! I, for one, want the audio on that! That could be my Christmas email to the masses.
I feel your Christmas agony. I've been shopping like a madwoman and I realized it isn't even December 1 and they are playing Christmas music EVERYWHERE! No wonder I am suicidal by the 15th!
I may do the rest of my shopping online, so I don't have to deal with it.
i think adam sandler will be all over this. better copyright it quickly. and alert k-tel records that they have another hit coming soon.
and no, i wasn't high yesterday. if you can watch firemen dig ditches in honduras, you can watch your niece make a pizza crust.
What's up with the roomate jokes? And, since when does the color of your roomates hair have anything to do with Christmas and eggnog?
Uh oh, The Roommate is upset. I may have to drink eggnog this year.
In my defense, it is a scientific fact that blonds are more positive. And then in return are more likely to embrace all the holiday joy that comes with eggnog and christmas songs.
Not that there is anything wrong with that. A girl like me needs a little positive influence. It's a good ying/yang thing we have going on. Without my roommate I'd be just yang. And then I'd be listening to depressing Nirvana music instead of Bing Crosby's White Christmas for the 8th time...
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