Um, I’m leaving for a foreign country in like three days. So I thought maybe I should go shopping. You know, for a Tivo. Because for some reason unclear to me I decided to leave the country during a sweeps month. Do you know what a sweeps month is? If you don’t then that probably means that you are a functioning member of society. Unlike myself. Myself looks forward to the months of November, February and May because I know that those are the three months out of the year that the TV networks are trying to buy my viewership, so that they can in turn sell it to advertisers for lots of money. It’s the circle of life really. For those who don’t actually have a life.
So anyways, I am leaving just as all my favorite shows are pulling out all the stops (and celebrity guest stars, and live episodes, and reunion shows and occasionally a death or wedding or birth or all three). What the hell was I thinking? A true TV lover does not leave the country during sweeps. A true TV lover would never let silly things like the world needing to be saved get in the way of all new episodes of their favorite shows. I have obviously failed as a TV lover and wonder now what else is left in this world for me to excel at. Perhaps I’ll find my true calling while in Honduras? Is avoiding malaria considered a skill? Maybe. We’ll see how I do at that.
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the nielsens are truly disappointed in you, dawn. and i can't say that i blame them. abandoning your true family at such important times is unforgiveable. tivo is your only redeeming act of contrition.
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