Now You Can Find It!®

Oh. My. God. People. This is an exciting time. A reader of this very blog has shared with us what very well may be the most important invention of our time. No it isn’t that freakish ball thing that rolls around on your floor and cleans under your bed while you are sleeping (who the hell WANTS to clean under a bed anyways?) No, the invention I speak of is creatively titled "Now You Can Find It!"®. And yes, the name is copywritten, just in case you were thinking of stealing it to name your new invention.

Here is a picture of the gift from God himself:

http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/productdetails/sku__SI676FUN

Do ya get it? If the name wasn’t adequate explanation, I’ll describe it in simpler terms. This thing helps you find stuff. Get it now? Apparently you put a little pager on commonly misplaced items and then when you misplace them you can push their corresponding button and they will beep until you find them. To make the search even more entertaining the beep changes cadence as the remote gets closer to the missing item. It’s all very dramatic.

As I look at the picture I wonder if there is really a need for eight buttons. The ad for the product says, "Always losing your glasses? Remote? Keys? Kid's favorite toy? "Now You Can Find It!"® locator puts a pager on all elusive things!" This is quite exciting, but I really don’t see how this product is going to work for anything besides the keys. Cause I don’t know about you, but I think it would be a bit cumbersome to have a "flashing beeper disc" attached with a "keyring or double-sided adhesive pad" to my glasses at all times. Dontcha think? And, "Come here Johnny, let me attach this flashing beeper disc thing to your stuffed bear. Do not be alarmed if it starts beeping and sounds somewhat like a soon-to-detonate bomb. That is just "Now You Can Find It!"® hard at work making sure your toy is never lost again."

Honestly, while this is a brilliant invention I fear that it would be pretty useless to me. Hearing isn’t exactly my strong suit. When I misplace my phone I’ll often call it so the ring can help me find it. This never works. I can usually narrow down what room it’s in, but beyond that I’m pretty much useless when it comes to figuring out an exact location. It actually works better for me if the missing phone is on vibrate, because then I can just lay across various spaces, call the phone, and then just wait for something to vibrate.

The "Now You Can Find It!"® features a magnetic docking unit that you can attach to a metal surface. When the "Now You Can Find It!"® is away from its dock for more than six minutes it starts beeping. This is to keep you from misplacing the misplaced items locator. As you’d be in a bit of a pickle if you needed a locator for the locator. My problem would be that it would take me way more than six minutes to figure out where the hell the beeping was coming from and then the damn locator would start beeping, in addition to the beeping locatee, and well, you can see how this would make for a somewhat frustrating experience which would most likely result in my just lying on the floor, hoping something would just vibrate.