Boob Overload

Oy.

The Sacramento leg of Stripperpalooza is complete.(Please look for us soon in Portland and Spokane.)

I’m exhausted. Herding strippers is not easy work. Just so you know. The main problem today was that we had 20 girls to shoot compared to the 12 we had yesterday. Yesterday we shot for 13 hours. Please do the math and you will see that herding strippers is not only hard work, it is also long work. The other problem today stemmed from the fact that very few of these girls actually have any interest in showing up before noon (another thing to add to the “Things Dawn Has in Common With Strippers” List (right below boobs that defy gravity and private parts piercings)). So then, the a.m. hours went well and we had everyone moving along quite well. This had quite a bit to do with the fact that only half the girls scheduled for the morning actually showed up in the morning. The rest think that schedules are like clothes, who needs ‘em. Well, it turns out I need them both, cause I’m anal and I get cold easily.

Apparently the strip club managers have little interest in schedules either, “I just got a call from April, Liz, and Mona, they will be in this afternoon.” Smashing. “This afternoon” is a great time frame. Thanks so much, I’ll pencil them right in between “When they were supposed to be here” and “Next Tuesday, when we are finally going to get out of here.”

I had an index card with each girl’s name written on one side and the pictures they had taken on the other side. I kept the cards with me until the girls finished the photos they needed. At one point this evening I had 12 index cards in my hand. We had one photographer. I’ll let you do the math on that one as well.

While shuffling through these cards I walked up to one of the guys helping out on the shoot. I said, “Too many girls.” He looked at me in horror, “Never too many girls, don’t say things like that. Don’t even put thoughts like that out into the universe.” This was the same guy that was guessing every girl’s sign based on their personalities. He guessed my sign and said he thought I was a Virgo, cause they are organized and anal and bossy. I said “No, I’m an Aquarius, I’m creative and funny and smart.” He said, “Uhhhh, no, are you sure you don’t have some Virgo somewhere in your sign?”

This is what happens when I am compared to 32 naked women, I become rigid and bossy and anal in comparison. I didn’t have time to take it too personally though, my psychic friend was soon distracted from our conversation by the naked woman standing next to us asking, “Which one of these outfits looks good?” To which he replied, “Yes.” I bet he didn’t think she was a Virgo.