My Stream of Consciousness Leads Nowhere

I really have nothing much to say today. I spent all weekend looking at houses and condos and realizing that the odds of me eating AND paying a mortgage are very slim. But then again, I could use a diet. Not only would I be a homeowner, but I would be damn skinny. Which I think is even better than equity, if you ask me.

In other news I think that I’ve officially lost my mind. Officially. And I went ahead and made a written note of it, because it’s important to note such milestones.

I will explain. I always have a piece of paper near my work computer. It starts out blank and then it slowly becomes the destination for every stream of conscious thought I have or note I need to take or message I need to write down. The writing goes every which way and is sometimes quite a maze of information that even I barely understand. I often write in code. It’s unfortunate that I don’t know the code, because that would prove to be much more efficient that my normal method of staring at the paper trying to figure out what the hell I meant by “Weekend Wedn 14". I’m sure I was solving some sort of world issue there, but I can’t quite remember what it was. My notes are usually on a piece of 8 ½ x 11 paper that I fold in half and put next to my computer. Sometimes, as in the following example, it is an envelope I’ve received in the mail.

Yesterday, while on my computer, I looked down at my scratch paper and saw this:

I will decipher for you people who do not know the code, or my handwriting. It says:
Duck & Duck
Monkey
Monkey who knew my name

Yeah. So I’ve obviously lost it. Not only do I have no idea what that is code for, I have no recollection of even writing it. What could it possibly be?

1. A slightly disturbing children’s book. I’m all about ducks, those are pretty harmless. And on the whole monkey are cool, despite their tendency to throw poo. But a monkey who knew my name? That’s kinda freaky. Especially if he shares his info with the ducks.

2. A Super Bowl commercial. You never know.

3. A rap song. Have you ever seen “8 Mile”? Eminem writes on his hand, on paper, on the bathroom wall, wherever the inspiration hits him. When he loses himself in the moment he needs to write down his wicked flow. I’ve always felt a kinship with Eminem, we’ve come in and out of contact on the rap battle circuit, you know. So maybe I’m finally ready to drop some bombs on Eminem with my own “Monkey Who Knew My Name” beat. And three lines is about standard for a successful song, so I think I’m good to go. I’ll get Mariah to sing backup and I’ll be all set.

4. Enough to put me in a padded room. The handwriting looks like it was written in a hurry. Was I rushing to jot down what I’d seen before I snapped out of my delusional state? Monkeys who knew your name can’t be a good a sign of mental stability. At least the ducks were there to comfort me.


I’m going to bed, cause it seems as though I need some rest. I will keep you updated on any further notes involving animals. And please be on the lookout for any knowledgeable monkeys. They may be traveling with ducks.