FYI

You my loyal readers deserve to be happy. And I’m not one to hold out on you. So here is the answer you’ve been looking for:


I know, I know. I thought happiness would at least cost me a 20 spot. But no. $10 and you are all set. Turn off Oprah, put down the self-help books, stop going to church. Just go get a table dance.

You're welcome.

Tomorrow marks Day 1 of Stripperpalooza. Try to control your excitement please.

Today my preparations for Stripperpalooza took me to a variety of places including a plastic store, a feed store, and a costume store. Things I learned:

1. There are entire stores dedicated solely to plastic.
2. Some of those pieces of plastic can stop bullets.
3. Big ass pieces of plastic are not cheap.
4. You can buy baby chicks individually.
5. Baby chicks are very cute.
6. You probably shouldn’t buy a baby chick if you don’t live on a farm, no matter how cute they are.
7. I have a allergic, rash-like reaction to straw.
8. There are lot of different kinds of hats at costume stores.
9. There are also “adult rooms” at costume stores.
10. There are a lot more man-part-shaped things in the adult section than woman-part-shaped things.
11. Buying a cowboy hat and a feather boa at a costume shop will incite slightly weird glances.
12. My roommate isn’t too smart sometimes:

“Lexxxi with three X’s just called me to schedule her shoot.”
“Lexxxi?”
“With three X’s”
“Is that because she’s X-tra special?”
“Uh, perhaps. It might also be because she is X-rated.”
“Oh dear. I didn’t even think of that.”
“I’m glad someone in this house is still pure.”