E-mail Issues

People have issues. They really do. And those issues seem to make themselves known through the joy of e-mail. You can really tell a lot about a person based on the kind of e-mail they send you. There are the people who write real e-mails or people who just forward on sick jokes and/or “pass this on or you’ll get hit by a bus” e-mails. And then there are the people who honestly think that you give a crap about what is going on in their lives. And what is going on in there lives is SOOOO important that they have to send you updates via a mass mailing. Cause they don’t really have the time it takes to type individual e-mails, they are too busy being important and what not.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some cases where mass e-mailings are okay and don’t come off nearly as self-involved and impersonal as they really are. For instance I have a couple friends training for a marathon and they send out mass e-mailings detailing their sweating. This is okay (mostly because it is what I did when I trained for a marathon and therefore it must be okay). Another friend is trying to make it as a stand-up comedian and he sends out mass e-mailings detailing his sweating. These are fun and funny little tidbits about his soar to the bottom of the comedy food chain, so I don’t mind reading them.

But then there is the girl who is training for nothing and chasing no dream that involves her subjecting herself to public humiliation. And yet she still feels the need to send regular updates of her life. AS IF WE CARE. Guess what? No one cares. We really don’t. Unless we birthed you or you are rich and generous, we do not care about your daily doings. And we certainly do not need pictures of those doings, thank you very much. This girl honestly sends pictures of JUST HER on a regular basis. The subject one of the e-mails from her? “My New Cell Phone”. Then the e-mail read, “Here is a picture I took of myself with my new cell phone.” And she attached a picture of herself standing in a sports bra and workout pants. WTF? Whyyyyy? The e-mail we received yesterday? A picture of her face, “I know it’s not the best, but I was going on only about 2 hours sleep.” Cause I don’t know about you, but the FIRST thing I think of doing when I’m sleep deprived is to take a picture of myself and send it out to everyone I know. Seriously.

People have issues. And I really wish they’d stop e-mailing them.