Sunday, November 04, 2007


I got a retirement notice in the mail awhile back. I hadn’t been at my job very long when the quarter ended, so my retirement account is a little lacking:

Almost $400 bucks! Sweet. I’m planning my lap of luxury right now. You know, the first day I was in at my job I had to fill out retirement stuff and I was flipping through the retirement book and it had like 5 different lifestyles and how much money you need to have saved up in order to retire and still live the lifestyle that you are used to. My lifestyle was the highest. They asked me if I use coupons, if I like to travel, if I like to eat out, if I like to read instead of doing expensive entertainment options. Hmph. I’m never going to retire. I will have to work till the day I die in order to continue living my damn lifestyle. Whatever.

Here is more depressing news from my retirement account:

They don’t think I’m going to retire till I’m 67? Screw that. And holy crap 2045 sounds like a long time away.

But don’t worry, if I don’t touch my $400 bucks till then I’m all set:

By 2045 that $400 bucks will be $2000 bucks! Hot damn! And look – when I retire in 2045 I can expect to make $12 a month from that $2000. Man, my future looks bright.

I might want to start clipping coupons.

I think that’s the moral of the story.


tornwordo said...

You're young, you can certainly put another $300 in there. Do that every month for the next 3 years and you'll really be set in 2045 (I think I'll be dead then.)

RoxRocks said...

I am also not looking forward to retirement. HIS retirement, that is. I will have to go out and get two jobs so I don't have to spend all day with him and his crazy questions every five minutes!!

Patricia said...

you will be in the lap of luxury, i tell you. being able to eat sushi once a month. congrats!