Good News, Bad News

So have some good news. And I have some bad news. Neither of them involve a ceramic dog, so I doubt that y’all will really care about either, but I’ll discuss them anyways.

Good News: I sold a book.
Bad News: I have yet to finish writing the book.

Good News: I sold a book.
News: It is about running.
Bad News: That means I should probably start running.

So then. There you go. It is all very exciting. Except the whole “have to write a book and run around in circles” part. But other than that, smashing.

Didja guys know I was trying to get a book published? I can’t remember if I mentioned it. Probably not, as listing all the things I’m trying to do could get a bit tedious. But one of the many things I was trying to do was get a book published. Well, first I was trying to get a book proposal written. Then I was trying to get an agent. THEN I was trying to get a book published. Or, well, the agent was trying to get it published I guess. I was just trying not to laugh at said agent’s positive outlook for my future as a published author.

But she did it, she sold it. To prove me wrong, I think. I really wish more people who do great things for me, just to prove me wrong. Life would be a lot easier.

So now I have two months to finish writing the book. Does it seem weird to anyone else that I took like a year to write the damn book proposal and I’m only going to take two months to write the actual book? Compared to the damn book proposal the book will be a sinch. No stats, no research, no trying to make myself sound publish-worthy. With the book I get to just be a smartass for 200 pages. Finally the job I’ve been waiting my whole life for.

But about those 200 pages...

That’s a lot of pages. That I have to finish in two months. While still doing the 238934 jobs that I have. Sleep is overrated anyways.

I really don’t have to write the entire book (anyone interested in ghostwriting?) cause I’ve got a good portion of it done already, so it’s more or less going to be a process of editing and rewriting and seeing how big they will let the font be (to make it more pages). The good news is that the book is meant to be interactive in some areas. I will be including journal pages at the back of the book, so that my reader (my mom) can journal their own running experiences. So you know, if I’m running short on witty and informative information, I could always just make the last 125 pages journal pages. That could work, right?

As for the content of the book, it’s about running. More specifically ME running. And that is what turns it into a humor book. It’s about my ill-advised foray into marathon training awhile back. I kept very detailed records of every muscle ache and lost kneecap and have rolled them all together to form a book. Someone call Oprah, cause I’m gonna be hitting the press circuit come January, and I think if ever there was a woman who could appreciate my hatred of running, it would be Oprah. Of course I might have to cut that section about my drug rehab...

So then, since I’m going to be on Oprah talking about running, I suppose I should get in shape. Oh dear lord. It’s not so much that I’m out of shape, it’s just that I’m, uh, rusty. Nothing like an impending photoshoot for your book jacket to make you think about possibly getting un-rusty. So by December of this year I’ll be in awesome shape, ready to sell my book and myself and probably land a daytime talk show. A girl’s got to dream. And so do you. And you should really write all your dreams down. Can I interest you in a journal (plus three pages of stuff I wrote)?