Child

Bad News: It’s 8 a.m.
Worse News: I’ve been up for over an hour.

What the?

My aunt has left the country and left me in charge of a child. My aunt is a misguided person.

I’ve had the child for over 12 hours and she is still alive, which I think is commendable. I’ve provided her with the major meals and the occasional hug. I even watched some quality television with her. It’s all quite exciting.

Less exciting? The fact that children get up before 7 a.m. Lord in heaven this is not good. Thankfully this child knows better than to wake me up before 7 a.m., but still, it just ain’t right. And then there is this whole long drawn out process of getting off to school. She gets ready, we cook breakfast, she eats (very slowly), we play with the dog, she puts on her shoes (even slower), and then I wave goodbye as she rides away on her bike. I yelled, “Don’t do drugs!” as she rode away, cause that’s what parents do, right? She yelled back, “I’ll try not to!”

My usual morning routine is very different from the one I just experienced. First of all it takes place in the afternoon. Second of all it takes all of about 15 minutes and usually involves me running around like a chicken with my head cut off. There is no leisurely pace, there is only trying to sleep in as long as humanly possible, and then trying to get out the door in record time. There definitely isn’t time for things like eating while sitting down and jovial conversation.

I have the child for a little over a week - I may need to do some of those drugs I warned her about.