Dia de Madre

So it was Mother’s Day this weekend. Didja remember your mothers? I certainly hope so. I remembered mine by planning a trip to Reno for the weekend. Well, actually I planned a trip to Tahoe, cause that’s where I thought we were going.

“I’m taking you and dad to Tahoe for the weekend.”
“What, why?”
“We are going to see Bill Cosby.”
“He’s in Reno.”
“No he’s not, he’s at the Silver Legacy.”
“Yeah, the Silver Legacy is in Reno.”
“Are you serious?”
“Very.”
“Has it always been?”
“Pretty much.”
“Oh, well then it’s a good thing I didn’t get a cheaper room in Tahoe as some random motel, like I was thinking of doing.”
“That would have been bad planning.”

So we went to Reno. Because apparently that is where I made reservations. Details are things that slide right past me quite frequently.

My mom didn’t want me to take them to Reno, because she said I need to save my money, because I’m going to be a homeowner. She said, “You don’t have any money to be taking me places.” I said, “Uh, no, see you’re wrong. Right now I have PLENTY of money. In two months? Not so much. So why not enjoy it while it’s still here, right?”

This philosophy worries my mother a little bit, but it makes sense to me. I’ve been living quite comfortably for quite some time and that time is about to end with the introduction of a mortgage payment. So yes, it is a BAD idea to spend money right now, but it’s also not FORECLOSURE/BANKRUPTCY/FINANCIAL RUIN BAD, which it will be in a few short months. So I’m kinda having my last hurrah right now. And in essence so is mom. Mother’s Day is going to be one (picked) flower and a (handmade) card from here on out. It’s the (extremely poor) thought that counts, right? Right.

So we went and saw Bill Cosby and he’s still funny and we laughed and all that. But then the real reason for our trip kicked in. Mom enjoys the gambling. Those crazy ladies who are working like three slot machines at once, a blind fury of coins and cherries and spinning wheels? Yeah, that would be my mother. Most people don’t think to take their moms to a town full of debauchery and drunkenness as a celebration of her maternal sacrifice. But I know that Reno is much better than some silly champagne brunch for my mom.

While mom was off on her gambling bender I had to busy myself and her dollar slots were a little too rich for my blood. As was mentioned earlier, I am trying (rather unsuccessfully) to conserve money. And while I have no problem blindly throwing my cash at entertainment and food and travel, I do draw the line at gambling. I simply have THE WORST luck ever when it comes to gambling, so I usually try not to put out more than $40 or so in the entire night. It’s sad how quickly $40 can go though. But not if you know the trick - The Nickel Slots. Seriously. How much do I love the nickels slots? So much. They make little to no sense, but make up for the lack of logic with a plethora of blinking lights and loud noises. My favorite of the nickel slots is Wheel of Fortune. You can pick up to like 9 lines of play and these things pop up and you really have no idea what they are or what they mean and then every once in awhile you get to spin the wheel and the crowd cheers. It’s awesome.

Last night some lady sat down next to me and actually tried to figure out the game. Lady. It’s nickel slots, details are unimportant. She said, “How do I do this?” I said, “Push the button.” She said, “How do I know what wins?” I said, “When the credit amount goes up.” She said, “But like what do I do?” I said, “Uh, it doesn’t matter, it’s just for fun, it will make noises and blink lights and things move around on the screen, it makes no sense, but that’s okay.” She looked at me blankly and then finally understood and I could see a calm fall over her face. She was now one of us. The Nickel Slot People. We are usually around 95 years old and have both our oxygen tank and our cigarettes nearby at all times. We are a hoot, let me tell you.

The best part was when another lady sat down next to my student and asked my student how to play. My student said, “Just push the button, don’t try to figure it out.” Ahhhhh. The Circle of Life. Reno style.