I Should Be Packing

I don’t really know how to pack for three weeks. Last time I went to Central America for like 7 days and I packed so much stuff they nearly kicked me off the plane. How do you pack for 20 days exactly? I don’t even know where to start. Underwear. I guess I should start there. That’s a good place to start.

You know, I think I’ll just pack for a week and then hope to find laundry facilities somewhere along the way. I’ll bring extra underwear, just in case.

I found out that I’m going to have to do some work while I’m gone. I tried to get it all done, but two of my clients just can’t get the info to me by tomorrow. So I’ll be designing after saving the world in New Orleans. These are the things you have to do when you have freelance clients and a mortgage. “You know, Dawn, it’s not a big deal, we can just find someone else to finish up this project, so you don’t have to worry about it.” “No, no, working on vacation is totally fine. As is not being foreclosed on.”

I still haven’t figured out my heater, but I have figured out that I hate, hate, hate help lines. Look, I’m all about everyone coming to this country and living the American dream and all that. I think that anyone who wants to come here and be an American should be entitled, as we are all immigrants technically, if you go back to our roots. But. If you come to this country, and you do not speak the language coherently you DO NOT get to work at HELP LINES. For the love of all things holy and pure. You can do WHATEVER the hell else you want. Own a store, become a doctor, sell real estate, I don’t give a crap. But if you CANNOT SPEAK MY LANGUAGE you don’t get to be the person I have to TALK to when I need help. This is all I ask for in this life. Please, it is not much.

And speaking of me not being able to hear, I went to go get new hearing aides the other day. One of my friends married a guy who sells hearing aides. Which I think is sweet of her. Another friend of mine is going to marry a guy who does printing stuff and needs graphic designers, which is nice of her too. Between the two of them lately I’m able to hear and make money, not bad husbands if you ask me.

So I go into the hearing aide place to pick out which ones I want. Basically I need a back up pair because I live with this fear that something is going to happen to my pair of hearing aides and then I’ll be deaf for two weeks until the new pair comes in. This will not be a good thing in February when I’m supposed to be going out and selling my book to the masses. Hearing seems like it would be a very important part of a PR campaign. Dontcha think? Yes.

So I went in to get some new ears and some peace of mind. Hearing aides, like all technology have dropped in price since I bought mine 7 years ago. My old hearing aides cost me a total of 5 grand and these new ones will only cost a total of $2500. Half off baby. It still seems a bit ridiculous that I have to pay for hearing aides and that they are not covered by insurance. How are poor people supposed to go on PR campaigns?

When I was at the hearing aide place I saw this poster:

First of all, I told the Hearing Aide Husband that he might want to consider updating his posters on a slightly more frequent basis than every 30 years, because half of the people on the poster are dead. But he said that most of the people who come in for hearing aides are so old that they really like the old poster. Ouch. Not a lot of 28 year olds coming in for hearing aides, as it turns out. Whatever.

But look! Look at the poster! Look at all the people who are hearing impaired! Now I don’t think that hearing impairment was the cause of death for the half that are no longer with us, lets just mention that. But who knew Sally Field wore hearing aides? I did not. This gives us something to talk about next time I see her. And Mama Brady? And that guy that played the Hulk? And John Boy? Oh my goodness I too can have a career in the 70's! It’s very exciting indeed.

I’m off to pretend to pack, and instead eat leftover Halloween candy and try my best to empty my DVR before I leave it to take on November sweeps.

My blogs will be sporatic the next few weeks, please try to be strong as I abandon you to focus on the world-saving (and some design work too) I’ll update as I come into contact with internet, and hopefully I’ll be able to check in on the rest of the blog world now and then throughout my time away. Stay strong in my absence, I will return to the internets full-time in a mere three weeks. Cry if you have to, it’s okay, we’re all friends here...

Until we speak again...peace, love and English-speaking helpline people.

d