Wednesday, September 12, 2007

God Bless the Internet

Whoever invented the internets should be sainted. I think that goes without saying. I mean, there’s the e-mail, the Google, the porn, the list goes on and on. But I must say that without the internets I don’t know that I’d be able to work a 9-5 job. (Don’t worry, I’m not looking at porn at work (but do you know that a guy got fired for looking at porn at the last place I worked? Isn’t that funny? And even more funny is the fact that it was his SECOND time being caught looking at porn at work. He’d just gotten a warning the time before. Seriously. What kind of idiot #1 Looks at porn at work and #2 Keeps looking at porn at work when it has been made clear that looking at porn at work is probably not in the best interest of his efforts to remain employed? People have issues.) But I digress.).

I have discovered the most wonderful thing of all: Online radio. Where the hell have I been that I never discovered this before? I do not know. But I am here now and I am here to tell you that one should not reside in a cubicle for hours on end without the aide of internet radio.

God bless internet radio. And god bless Adam Carolla. I’m sure that some of you either don’t know who Adam Carolla is, or think he’s an idiot (The Man Show), but I do not care. He is my savior. The guy has cracked me up since LoveLines and ever since Howard Stern left radio Carolla has been doing a morning radio show. Given the fact that I haven’t seen a lot of mornings since Howard Stern went off the air, I hadn’t listened to Carolla’s show. But now, because I am a functioning member of society I get to listen to all the morning radio I want. Morning radio and Mountain Dew are the only thing that get me to noon without passing out. And Adam Carolla. He helps a lot. The guy is just a “dude”. He likes cars and building things and has a general bad attitude about everything on the planet. He cracks me up. And when spending time in a cubicle, his rants sure do help the time go by.

Then after him there are these three called Frosty, Heidi and Frank. Frosty, Heidi and Frank used to be Jaime, Frosty and Frank and I used to listen to them during my ridiculous commute when I lived in LA. Until one day I turned on the radio and it was just Jaime. And Danny Bonaduce. Jaime, Frosty and Frank had worked together for like 10 years, starting in Denver or something and then moving out to LA together. Then, after all that time Jaime totally stabbed her boys in the back and saved herself. Bitch. I never listened to the show again. Who knows what she is doing now, because Bonaduce is now on Adam Carolla’s show. Followed by Frosty and Frank. Jaime? Off the air. Karma. It’s a bitch too.

So then. As you can see, the internets provide me with both entertainment and life lessons throughout the day. Can’t ask for much more than that.


Chunks said...

I like Adam Carolla too. He hangs out with Jimmy Kimmel who sleeps with Sarah Silverman. They are like a trifecta of funny.

Glad to hear you have peace in this crazy, crazy world!

Didn't Al Gore invent the internet?!

tornwordo said...

I used to listen to them in LA too. I remember being all confused when she changed her name.

Patricia said...

i simply cannot listen to a partridge boy gone bad. unless it is "keith" and then i'll listen to anything he has to say.

are you drinking more pepsi at night? whatever it is, thank you.

Stephanie said...

Well to continue the story, Danny left and it was then Jamie, Jack and Stench. And then all their asses got fired cause they're idiots. And now it is Valentine and Lisa, whose voices are thankfully not as grating as Jamie's.

Chrissy said...

Adam Corolla is quite entertianing I listened to him before Bonaduce was added, so I can't say what I think about his show now.

I am glad Jaime is no where near radio anymore, as I can tell. Lisa and Valentine are much better.

Anonymous said...

The ace kills a lot of boring time during my day. I'm such a big fan I interviewed Teresa Strasser and Bald Bryan and recorded the phone calls on my website

Podcasts get me through the day.

Suyash said...