Monday, August 13, 2007


I haven’t had anything resembling a commute for quite some time. And let’s be honest here, I don’t have anything resembling a commute now. When there is no traffic it takes 6 minutes to get from my office to my house. When there is traffic it takes about 10 minutes.

But still.

That is 20 minutes more radio than I’m used to hearing in a day. When I work at home I usually have the Itunes going and listen to my million and one songs I have on my computer. Or I go over to that awesome 90's station and relive my pegged pants years.

But in the car I listen to the radio.

Some things I’ve noticed:

The Shane Company (Now You Have a Friend in the Diamond Business) needs to be firebombed. Seriously. This guy is on EVERY FRIGGIN STATION. Trying to convince every demographic that you need a diamond for pretty much every event in your life. “Did your sweetheart stub her toe today? Show her you care with one of our diamonds.” This guy has officially guaranteed that I will never in my lifetime buy a diamond from him. Now, to be honest, he’s not missing out on any business, as I don’t ever have any intention of buying a diamond in my lifetime, but still. I might go buy one somewhere else just to prove a point.

I would also like to firebomb Delilah. Delilah is a radio chick who is syndicated throughout the land. How do I know she is syndicated? Because I was lucky enough to hear her throughout my entire 10 week road trip across this great land. As if the middle of Nebraska didn’t have enough problems without this woman. Arrrgggg. She is so peaceful and loving and CONDESCENDING, she makes me want to hurt her.

I think I might have issues with overly calm sounding people. They 1) make me nervous 2) make me distrust their sincerity, 3) make me want to give them an IV of caffeine to speed their speech up a little bit and 4) they are usually full of crap.

The song below is the most annoying thing I’ve ever heard. It is on about 23453 times a day and everyone LOVES it. I know I’m behind on this, but I really think it’s better that way, because I don’t think I could have dealt with this song in my life for any more time than I've already endured. Listen to it until at least the chorus. That is where it gets poetic. Hold on, let me see if I can get you the lyrics.

When there’s sunshine, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever

Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

Please note the
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)’s
My dear lord. It’s art, right here in front of you.

And just to prove that I’m not completely heartless, this song makes me cry every single time I hear it in the car:

It’s simple, and cheesy in some parts, but the “Laaaaay meee down” - that one line, gets me every time.

(With a few firebombs)


tornwordo said...

Radio ads suck. And the umbrella song? I liked it until the played it the 23454th time.

Patricia said...

i don't really do much radio and so i hadn't heard the umbrella song. but it made my ears bleed within 30 seconds and so i had to shut her off. when what i really wanted to do was punch her. hard.

the other song though. beyond sad.

Stephanie said...

I so don't miss the Shane Company guy's voice. All deep, barritone and ANNOYING. I also agree about Deliah and her calmness being condescending.

But I kind of like the Umbrella song. Especially the accoustic version by Marie Digby?

teri said...

The "Lay Me Down" video made me effing hate GWB even more. This WAR sucks people. The real images the won't show us on nightly news.

Chrissy said...

It’s simple, and cheesy in some parts, but the “Laaaaay meee down” - that one line, gets me every time.

Yes, Tim McGraw's "If You're Reading This" gets me everytime too. I always tear up at the "Lay me down" but I think I totally lose it when the lyric "I'm already home" comes up.