Monday, September 24, 2007

Blog Forecast: Not so good

Uh, remember how I haven’t been blogging much? Cause I had so little time? I have terrible news. It’s Premiere Week on my TV. This does not bode well for the blogging. What little free time I have must be devoted to my television now, for the free days of summer are gone. I don’t know why I don’t make more of a note of it, but jesus do I have a lot more time during the summer. Tonight alone I taped like 4 hours of TV. That’s a part-time job. Throw in the occasional Oprah and I may have to reevaluate this whole employment thing. I mean, my DVR can only hold so much.

Tonight Dancing with the Stars premiered. Good god do I love that show. It’s just ridiculously cheesy and over the top, but I can’t get enough of it. Kelly Taylor for 90210 is on it!!!! I actually thought about voting for her, that’s how much I loved her when I was a teenager. She was a slut with a heart of gold! Tonight they had the women compete, tomorrow the guys will compete. You really have to love guys, cause they were doing a promo for tomorrow’s episode and they had a package edited together of all the guys basically talking a big game. They were all saying how badass they are and how they are there to compete and to bring home the top prize and pretty much just being boys. But you have just got to love that the big prize is a trophy shaped like a disco ball. I mean really. Does it get any better than that? I think no.

And can I also point out that the chick that danced the best on the show tonight was probably the heaviest set girl on the show? And she still looked awesome. I kept thinking of little Britney Spears and her bikini-ed ass making a mess of herself on MTV a few weeks back. Everyone said she was fat and looked horrible. Britney Spears is not fat, she’s probably tipping the scales at like 138. What she is is a complete friggin’ moron who thinks that going on national television in a bikini is a fantastic idea. The girl on the show tonight easily has 20 or 30 pounds on Britney but she actually had the sense to work with a costume designer and put on something that covered and tucked in the right places. Then she went out and danced her ass off, another thing Britney wasn’t quite in the mood for. Dancing’s hard y’all.

And speaking of overweight, an overweight young woman wrote to me the other day to tell me that she had decided to train for a marathon and that her doctor recommended my book. She then said she’d read my book three times and was “inspired” by me. There are a couple things that don’t seem right here. First off: Why are doctors recommending running books that reference Cheetos on a pretty regular basis? Second off: It’s a bit alarming how many people have written to me to say that they are inspired by my book. How bizarre is it that my lazy ass is inspiring American’s to run around in circles? Oh the mind. How it boggles.

If you ask me I think I should get burnt calorie credit for all the work my readers are doing, I mean, I inspired them for god’s sake.

Pass me the remote, Curb Your Enthusiasm’s on, the laughing will work my stomach muscles...

5 comments:

tornwordo said...

Dancing's hard y'all, lol. That must really feal great to get letters like that. Congrats!

Patricia said...

She was a slut with a heart of gold!

that really should be one of abc's promos.

i really kind of hate that we are now third behind employment and television. i can't say that i feel the love.

but don't ask me to talk about this tonight, i gotta watch house.

Prime Time Premiere fan #2 said...

Too bad the people inspired by your book can't pass the burnt calories down to you (as you said) like a pyramid scheme, so that every time someone walks a mile, you get a 1/10 a mile credit in walking, while watching Dancing with the Stars.

people are inspired by your book because they are like you - they are eating cheehtos and doing nothing and they read about you, who is just like them, doing something about it. Don't be so hard on yourself - the book is out there to help people, and if a doctor wants to recommend it to people, by all means , let them! Just don't give them a finder's fee if they come a'knockin'.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Your book must be the right stuff, Dawn.

I never saw the appeal of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Larry David couldn't be more unfunny.

Then again, many people think Dennis Miller is a douche bag extraordinaire. And I love him.

Go figure.

Chunks said...

Again, I did that thing where I thought I commented and it turns out I hadn't.

Hm.

You might be a lot of things Dawn, but at least you're not senile like me. LOL!

I'm still only watching Survivor, Kid Nation and Name Those Lyrics or whatever it's called. Even then, Survivor's the only one I didn't miss a second of. I'm not a very good TV-aholic.