Friday, April 29, 2005

The Best Infomercial Ever

I’m flipping through the channels. It’s late at night. I’m about to give up hope on finding entertaining programming. And then what do I discover? I discover the best infomercial ever.

To be honest with you I really have no idea what the infomercial is informing me of, because that is not really important. What is important is the fact that this infomercial has two midgets as its hosts. MIDGETS. Telling me how to get rich or something. Midgets. In little suits and little ties.

This is awesome. This is by far the most random thing I’ve ever seen. I watch for a little while to see if they reference their midget-ness. But they do not. They are only referencing their richness and my potential richness. They are walking along a tree-lined path, enjoying life and their richness and their randomness. They are jovial in some segments and very very serious in others. They are inviting me to attend a seminar where I too can learn to be a midget infomercial host. Or something. Again, the details are slipping by unnoticed.

Oh, they’re giving a website: http://www.cashflowgenerator.com/ - go there and check them out. There’s a full body shot of both of them. But still no reference to their midget-ness. I love it.

Lest anyone think I am mocking the midgets, please understand that I am not. In fact, I am secretly fascinated by them. They seem to me to be somewhat of a Loch Ness Monster. Or maybe they are more like Britney Spears. I see them on TV all the time, they are sometimes in crappy movies and they are often made to dress up in ridiculous outfits for the sake of entertainment. But as much as I feel like I have a good understanding of Britney and of midgets, I have never met either one in real life. This seems very weird to me. (Not the Britney one, I don’t frequent Vegas chapels or my local ‘Pimps and Hoes Attire’ so the odds of us running into each other are slim)

But I do pride myself on meeting and engaging all different kinds of people. For that is the stuff of life, really. Seeing it from someone else’s perspective for a second. But never in all my years have I met and engaged a midget. It’s seems quite ridiculous. Where are they? Am I not hanging out in midget-friendly circles? Do they congregate in a different part of the country? Do they know they can make $3,000 in the next 30 days by visiting http://www.cashflowgenerator.com/ today? So many questions. So few midgets in my life to answer them.

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