FYI

I’m doing my taxes.

Yes, I know, it’s 10 pm on the 14th of April. I’ve been busy.

I’m a bit of a procrastinator.

So.

I’m doing my state taxes and I’ve come across a Credit Chart. A chart of all the possible credits you can take on your state taxes. You know, like the adoption credit or the renter’s credit. Things like that. I’m going to get screwed on taxes this year, so I’m looking at this chart, hoping to find the “Outstanding Spider Solitaire Player Credit”. Hey, it’s worth a shot. My tax booklet includes the words “Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger”. In order, just like that. So you never know what other ridiculous things may appear on these pages.

Unfortunately there is no Spider Solitaire Credit. BUT there is a Rice Straw Credit. I’m serious. And I quote, “$15 per ton of purchased rice straw grown in California.” Dammit! I didn’t buy my rice straw until January 2005.

OR I can use the Joint Strike Fighter Property Costs Credit. That is “10% of the cost of property placed in service in California for the ultimate use in a joint strike fighter”. “Joint strike fighter”, this sounds like some sort of drug deal gone wrong.

BUT there is a Prison Inmate Labor Credit wherein I can deduct “10% of wages paid to prison inmates”. I bought some Martha Stewart paint last year, does that count?

Oh, and I’m a sensitive girl, but why do the blind get a tax credit? Where is the logic there? You’re handicapped so you get an $85 credit? I’m sure that makes up for everything.