Monday, November 21, 2005

Honduras Time

I didn’t post an entry today. I’m ever so sorry. I do hope that you all survived without a daily filling of my ramblings. It seems as though my blog is one of the many things I’m having trouble readjusting to back here in the States. The first couple of days back I figured I was just experiencing the normal post-vacation lack of motivation. And that was the reason I was moving so slow. Now it appears as though I’m actually just quite lazy. I was hoping to find myself on my trip. Turns out I found her, and she doesn’t really want to work. At all.

You see, before I left I was a little stressed out. I had approximately 735 jobs and sat in front of my computer anywhere from 12 to 15 hours a day, making all sorts of things pretty. And making myself slightly insane. People who thought they were in charge were calling me at 10 o’clock at night to discuss an inch of green space and what we should do about it, then another person, who really was in charge would call and say that the space should actually be red, and then a third person would e-mail and tell me to send both of the colors to the printer, and then another person would send a courier pigeon to say they fired all the other people and they hope the project hasn’t gone to the printer, because there needed to be “significant changes”.

And so I went to Honduras.

For the first two days I searched everywhere for an internet café, I was bouncing off the walls, not quite knowing what to do with myself. And then it all just melted away, the inch of green or red, the annoying “changes” people, the worrying that my Tivo might not be working (I have an instinct for these things, it turns out). And for the rest of the time I just breathed and laughed and avoided the questionable looking pork. (Because being relaxed and free have their limits. And those limits begin right around pork that kinda looks like styrofoam.)

So now I’m back. In the land of green inches and “significant changes”. And I’m not exactly working at pre-relaxation capacity. To be honest, I’m still on Honduras time. And you know what Honduras time is? Neither do I. That’s the point. I never knew what time it was there. I just kinda ate when people ate, got on the bus when other people seemed to be leaving. It worked. In Honduras. Here, however, it seems as though I should probably be moving a little faster than my newfound slow motion speed.

But then again, I doubt the world will end if I only have 642 jobs instead of 735, right? There are other people who can make things pretty, right? Right. Which is why today I said no to a job for the first time in over a year. It was awesome. Who has time for silly things like work and fast thoughts when there are naps to take and calls to ignore? Plus, I can’t be bothered with work, I have to devote all my time to recreating that tasty pork dish…


Chunks said...

Sounds like you found your "authentic self" in Honduras. Oh Crap, there I go quoting Oprah again!

Sometimes it just feels so good to say no, especially when you mean it!

Patricia said...

i love losing time like that.

well... not in the psychotic breakdown way. rather, in the vacation and away from work way. i think it's the best way to shake up priorities and reconnect with what matters.

and the red/green inch isn't anywhere in the top 20 list of what really matters.