Friday, May 11, 2007

Some Article I Saw

I saw this headline online today:

Family awakened to find half-naked man in bed with them

So I, of course, investigated further. If you read the article ( you will learn some very interesting tidbits about this story. The most interesting has to be the fact that this IS NOT THE FIRST TIME this has happened to this family. Seriously. Can someone explain to me what exactly is going on in the world?

Apparently this grandmother and the grandfather and two grandkids were in bed sleeping. Then the grandmother was woken (awoken? awaken? who knows.) by the granddaughter who was saying that someone was “on her”. Up until that point grandma had no idea that a unknown grown man had just crawled into bed with her. Of course, given the fact that the whole friggin’ family was already in the bed I could see how it would be difficult to distinguish between unknown people getting in the bed and just more relatives joining in for a slumber party.

This slumber party took a bit of a dirty turn when grandma noticed that Unknown Grown Man had his pants around his ankles while laying in the bed. This caused Known Grown Man to chase Unknown Grown Man off with threats of killing him.

The family is understandably a little shaken. CAUSE THIS KEEPS HAPPENING. This dude keeps coming in and getting into bed with these people in the middle of the night. Maybe he’s lonely and sees that this bed is clearly a welcoming one and so he decides to stop in for a moment. I dunno.

What I do know is that there are these knew things called, uh, LOCKS. And uh, SECURITY SYSTEMS. The locks help keep people out of your house, and then the security systems make a really loud noise to let you know if the locks did not work. Or, I guess the whole, “Let’s Wait For Little Susie to Scream Out in Horror and Panic Because There is an Unknown Grown Man Laying on Her” Security Plan is a little more economical than locks and security systems and it seems to be spot on in its ability to identify an intruder.

So carry on random bed family, carry on.


Chunks said...

They must have a pretty good bed too if a grown man can slip onto it and they don't even NOTICE!

For Grandparents, they seem pretty daft!

Patricia said...

after reading your post, i could not wait to get to the article to see where this was happening. i was just certain it was going to be arkansas or something. and yes i've just offended many a fine arkansan (?) but somehow finding it happened in texas just really made me unnaturally happy as well. i'da seriously paid good money if their last name rhymed with push.

tornwordo said...

That is a crack-up. I don't think I've ever shared a bed with a grandparent, that itself is weird.