Sunday, July 08, 2007

People Have Issues

I was on Craigslist today. Because I love me some Craigslist. You know that might be a good book idea, just all the crap you can do and find on Craigslist. Hmmmm. It would be good times. Because people are random as all hell on Craigslist. And then there are people who are crazy as all hell.

Like this lady:

Grown Up Girls Coloring Club
Reply to:
Date: 2007-06-29, 5:47PM PDT

I would like to organize a small group of women over 18 who would enjoy coloring together. We can meet at my home, maybe once a week. We can color, chat, listen to nice/fun music and have healthy snacks. You can bring your own materials, or I can share mine. There are lots of great coloring pages online that we can print. Or you can draw your own, if you'd like. We won't be drinking, or smoking, or swearing or anything like that. Also, I hope we won't be competitive with each other, and that everyone will be respectful of each other's individual skills and styles. I think that it could be lots of fun. E-mail me with any questions or ideas.


Seriously. Someone actually posted this.

I really hope it’s a joke.

And I really wish I had a friend that would come with me to this party. It would be the funnest thing ever. We could bring booze and pot and start yelling at each other about how the other one is a horrible color-er.

Why aren’t they “drinking, or smoking, or swearing”? Or “anything like that”? And is there anything OTHER than that? Who wants to hang out with people who don’t swear? You know, as I’m thinking about this I think it would be friggin’ high-lar-ious to have a drunk coloring party. Oh, the things that would be colored. Oh, the things that would be added to the innocent coloring book drawings. It would be awesome.

My favorite part: “I hope we won’t be competitive with each other, and that everyone will be respectful of each other’s individual skills and styles.” Seriously, this lady is killing me. I don’t think I was ever competitive over coloring, even when I was of the age that people actually colored. Who is a competitive color-er? I will give you that I was a perfectionist color-er and often took much longer than the other kids to do my coloring because OH MY GOD, what if I make the wrong color choice or draw something wrong? Yeah, it’s been fun inside this head since the very beginning.

Man, do I want to go to this party. The healthy snacks, the no swearing, the coloring. God, this crap has the potential to get HUGE. Watch out for it on Oprah next year. Nate will be all over this.


Patricia said...

my favorite part was that she had to specify that it is for people over 18.

me, i'm waiting for her fingerpainting party.

Jimmy Zimms said...

Dude I am sooooo down to fly in from Seattle just to go to this. I'll bring the twinkies...

Dean said...

I just got the shivers. Like when someone steps on a crack, black cats crossing my path, the Kings win a championship. (well OK, that hasn't happened, but if it did it would FREAK ME OUT!)

Devo said...

I think she really means it. Latent childhood issues, perhaps? You should go. And do a vlog for us, yeah, that's it, go and do a vlog and swear a lot and criticize everyone's Dora pages. heehee. On second thought, that may have some very dire consequences by the sound of it.

Chunks said...

Obviously you've never spent time coloring posters on a Volunteer day in a lower elementary school. I tell you, not everyone can color. Oh, you think you can color in the lines and that you make good color choices, but I'm here to tell you, there are people out there who have NO coloring skills at all! How they ever got out of kindergarten is BEYOND me!

I've got such mad coloring skillz that teachers would give me tons of poster requests. You ain't colored until you've done 22 Precious Moments full poster size in colored pencils.

I'd kill to go to this bitches party. I'd color her under the table. (I wouldn't last five minutes with the no swearing rule though.)