Sunday, October 22, 2006

Chef

This is what happens when I cook.

I can’t even cook bacon in the microwave.

It is a sad, sad thing.

It is a thing on fire, too.

Bacon on fire does not leave the most pleasant smell, FYI.

And it doesn’t really allow you to keep the plate either.

Yet another casualty of my cooking.

Me not cooking is not just me being lazy.

It’s me taking the necessary precautions to not hurt myself or others.

8 comments:

tornwordo said...

Bravo! You're not allowed to leave the kitchen now when the microwave is on. You know how there's a little window? That's so you can WATCH and prevent such mishaps. Lol.

Travis said...

I told you 23 minutes was too long.

heathweb said...

Looking at that picture of your "bacon" may be the first time my love and passion for bacon have ever been called into question. I'm not happy about this.

Anonymous said...

Isn't the paper towel supposed to be ON the bacon not under it? There is a proper bacon-nuking tray that someone could buy you as a housewarming gift or Chriskwanzika or something.

Idea for your next book? Take some cooking classes then write a book about it. You could do a wonderful service to others who are also cuisinally-challenged.

famous said...

That's bacon! Wow. What happened to Dream Dinners?

Dean said...

Thats bacon??!!
I thought it was some aliens, after a phasor burst on Star Trek.

Blech!

Patricia said...

wow. that little piggy went to hell.

MicrowaveMan said...

I think this blog has helped you discover the subject and title of your new book. A sequel to the running guide, it's called "That's Bacon: The (non) cookers guide cusinally challenged men and women". I think you should pitch it to your publishers. You can have before and after pics of what you things used to look like (before when you cooked on your own), then after you took a cooking course(hopefully more improved and recognizable. I thought the bacon was actually a dirty coffee filter). It would sell sextillions of copies. It's a deal!