Tuesday, February 21, 2006

FYI

You my loyal readers deserve to be happy. And I’m not one to hold out on you. So here is the answer you’ve been looking for:


I know, I know. I thought happiness would at least cost me a 20 spot. But no. $10 and you are all set. Turn off Oprah, put down the self-help books, stop going to church. Just go get a table dance.

You're welcome.

Tomorrow marks Day 1 of Stripperpalooza. Try to control your excitement please.

Today my preparations for Stripperpalooza took me to a variety of places including a plastic store, a feed store, and a costume store. Things I learned:

1. There are entire stores dedicated solely to plastic.
2. Some of those pieces of plastic can stop bullets.
3. Big ass pieces of plastic are not cheap.
4. You can buy baby chicks individually.
5. Baby chicks are very cute.
6. You probably shouldn’t buy a baby chick if you don’t live on a farm, no matter how cute they are.
7. I have a allergic, rash-like reaction to straw.
8. There are lot of different kinds of hats at costume stores.
9. There are also “adult rooms” at costume stores.
10. There are a lot more man-part-shaped things in the adult section than woman-part-shaped things.
11. Buying a cowboy hat and a feather boa at a costume shop will incite slightly weird glances.
12. My roommate isn’t too smart sometimes:

“Lexxxi with three X’s just called me to schedule her shoot.”
“Lexxxi?”
“With three X’s”
“Is that because she’s X-tra special?”
“Uh, perhaps. It might also be because she is X-rated.”
“Oh dear. I didn’t even think of that.”
“I’m glad someone in this house is still pure.”

4 comments:

Stephanie said...

Thanks for the tip! And also I would like to thank you for your hilarious blogs. Randi Kay introduced me to your site and now it is on my daily ways to procrastinate list.

Patricia said...

wow. i truly had no idea about most of the things you learned yesterday. you lead quite the life.

i just wanna know if all that plastic is recyclable. i mean, if i looked closely at your film, would i be able to zoom in (not there!) and see a little triangle with a '1' in it on some of the uhhh shaped things?

oh man. i kid you not. my verification word is "bearu". coincidence? i think not.

Chunks said...

What exactly do you have to do for Stripperpalooza?! Like, will we be able to read about it in the papers? Will we see it on TV? Will this make you famous?

heehee

Blogger said...

I have just installed iStripper, and now I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.