Monday, February 27, 2006

Lack of Rhythm, Lack of Life

It is not natural how much I enjoy “Dancing with the Stars”. It really isn’t. But I’ve accepted my idiocy and just moved on. Do you know that tonight I was literally SCREAMING at the TV when Tall Blond Chick got kicked off before Jerry “Has Anyone Seen My Rhythm” Rice? Screaming. And they are competing for a trophy with a disco ball on it. That’s the big prize. You’d think they were competing for a new lung the way I’m emotionally involved with this show.

Thank the lord in heaven Jerry Rice didn’t win, or I honestly think that the people walking outside my window would have been in danger of my TV falling upon their heads. Can anyone please tell me how on earth this man made it to the final two? Seriously. Somehow I doubt that a lot of Niner fans are watching “Dancing with the Stars”. Not exactly the target demographic for a show that single-handedly keeps the sequins business going. So who else could possibly be voting for this man? I don’t care if he’s cute or if he’s trying really hard. HE CAN’T DANCE. IT’S A DANCING SHOW. What else is there to say?

There is actually quite a lot to say about that particular point though. Why on earth did “Dancing with the Stars” decide to cast two Black guys that can’t dance? Now I know it’s stereotypical to assume that Black guys can dance, but on the whole it seems to be a pretty safe stereotype. Even if they can’t bust out major choreography they usually at least have rhythm. In my experiencing dancing with men I will say that the Black men I’ve danced with tend to be a lot better than other guys. This is not saying a whole hell of a lot, as most other guys think humping your leg is a form of ballroom dancing. But still. Jerry Rice and Master P, the other Black guy on the show, both looked like an arthritic 90 year-old woman out on the dance floor.

Now, Jerry has a little bit of an excuse. He’s a big guy and he’s an athlete. His career has involved running really fast and giving high-fives. But Master P is really a disappointment. He is one of the founders of hip hop/rap music. MUSIC. As in BEAT and RHYTHM. The guy is a music performer and producer. How exactly does one spend that much time in a recording studio and not pick up any sense of rhythm? But he managed to do it. It was literally painful to watch him dance, if you could even call it that. I felt so bad for his partner, the cute little thing who had Joey McIntire as a partner last time. She was probably so pissed they didn’t book Jordan Knight for this season.

I have actual emotions about “Dancing with the Stars”. I was actually angry tonight when Tall Blond Chick was eliminated tonight. This may be indicative of my need for an actual life. It’ll have to wait to after Idol is over though.


And oh my god, on a totally pointless note, when I went on here to post my blog I saw a "Blog of Note" link and it was MC Hammer's Blog ( How random is that? Well, actually not that random, cause he'd be great on Dancing with the Stars. The man can dance. And anyone who could pull off those puffy pants like he did could rock the hell out of some sequins.


Chunks said...

"And they are competing for a a trophy with a disco ball on it."

Sometimes it is the simple things in life that make it so enjoyable!

I enjoy your enthusiasm!

Patricia said...

i caught a couple of minutes of this show from time to time. and as much as white men can't jump, those two black guys couldn't dance. they might as well have had oprah up there. she can't dance either, but she still tries that awkward clapping thing from time to time.

i wasn't too invested in who won, and the people's bodies really got on my nerves so i was pretty much ready to hate whoever won. well that's not quite true. if that over-baked george hamilton had gotten to the finals, i'da joined you in pitching my tv out the window.

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Stephanie said...

Oh my goodness! You totally read my mind. I wanted Drew to win but when they kicked off Stacy, I screamed. Really "Who is watching this show and voting for a football player?" I was in total shock!

P.S. Wil Wheaton (early 90's hearthrob from Toy Soliders and one of those Star Trek shows) has a blog too. He actually has multiple ones. He's pretty funny I think he should be on the next Surreal Life.

Yoshii said...

You will be in trouble when "fishing with celebrities" hits CW in the fall. Carrott Top vs. Annie Potts. Watch out, high drama!