Friday, January 19, 2007

Again, With the Porch

It has been an exciting week or so for the porch.

Today, more excitement.

First I met up with a friend and she gave me my Christmas present. And my birthday present. Don’t mind that the two dates are a month apart. I am a big Celebrate Whenever person. If you got a present for me, then I got a smile for you.

Today’s gift:


Ha! It’s a doormat.

How much do I love that I have this doormat out in front of my house that is totally in the middle of suburbia? So much. The friend who gave me this is quite white. I’m quite white too actually, my skin color just happened to catch the 1/4 of me that is brown. But this friend and I, we used to work together and we’d always play rap music and talk as if we were gangsta rappers. We were hard core, her and I. I ain’t trippin’ yo.

So anywho, that’s why this is funny to her and I. My aunt and my mother didn’t find it that funny. Maybe it’s a generational thing. Or a gangsta rap thing. One or the other.

Then.

I have been expecting a package that a friend had sent to me via two day delivery. That was last week. This friend is not so happy with UPS right now. This friend is the reason I’ve been checking my porch so religiously, because I’ve been so hoping to find the package he sent, so that I could call him and tell him that it is here and he can abort his plan to blow up UPS. Who has time for criminal trials and all that nonsense?

So the doorbell rings this evening and I run downstairs to greet what has to be the UPS guy. When I open the door he is staring down at my doormat. Then he looks up to me and says, “I have a package for Dr. Dawn Rock Me Amadeus.” With no smile.

“That would be me.”
“Okay, here ya go.”
“Alrighty.”

See, my last name is hard to pronounce, or rather it is hard for people to figure out how they are supposed to pronounce it. So I always say it’s like "Amadeus". But it’s “I’m a Dais.” This helps people.

It didn’t seem to help the UPS guy who got out of here as fast as he could. He ain’t tryin’ to mess with this hizzle. Fo Shizzle.

Happy Friday y’all.

7 comments:

Patricia said...

i dunno, maybe you could end the whole confusion and just add a "y" to the end of your name. i'll bet you'd get a whole lot of walkers across the country to follow someone named dawn daisy. it just sounds perky, doesn't it?

the doormat is great. if snoop ever visits, he'll get a good chuckle out of it.

mostly i love it that your friend made you an honorary doctor, in order to lend an air of credibility to the whole rock me amadeus. which will now be going through my head all day, thank you very much.

Anonymous said...

OK, the doormat thing. . . it's not that I don't find it funny,---I just don't get it! Not nearly as cute as a ceramic dog.--mom

Dean said...

I guess I am in the corner with Mom, scratching my head. I don't understand the doormat either. Like the font though. Fo Shizzle? Guess I am out of the loop.

LOVE the mail. Laugh my Shizzle off. 8-)

Anonymous said...

so what was in the damn box, doctor?

tornwordo said...

I have no clue what the words on your doormat imply. I often send letters addressed to King or Queen so and so. It amuses me.

Chunks said...

I love the doormat!! I wonder where your friend got it? It's hilarious!

I feel like sending you something, so I can get in on this porch scene. Maybe some Ketchup chips and other things you can't get in the USA?

Mark said...

Word.