Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Good Thing I Know How to Swim

So the whole “New Orleans was under water after a levee that we knew wasn’t all that great broke” thing seems to have cities in a bit of a panic. Because a lot of levees aren’t in that great of shape. And a lot of people prefer to not be under water with their big screen tv’s.

The area where I live was once all open land (which is what most areas were before something was built on them, else they would have had trouble building on them). I remember when I was a wee child this very area was under quite a bit of water. And now it is where I reside. Apparently I don’t retain information too well. So anyways, stupid people actually believed that we weren’t in a flood area when they bought their houses here. These people are stupid.

When I bought my house I asked the House People if they provided flood insurance in my Home Owners dues. They said that the flood insurance wasn’t required. I had just come back from New Orleans, and I’d also seen this area under water when I was a wee little child. So I wasn’t really buying their whole “not required” thing. Especially since it “was required” like a mile away. That water's gonna know what areas it’s allowed to enter, is it? Riiiiiight.

Anywho I didn’t end up getting flood insurance. Because what exactly would I be insuring? I’m on the second floor of my place. And I’m in a condo. So if we flood it would have to get pretty high to damage my second floor. And (b) I would be the only one of the six condos in my building to be insured and able to rebuild. I don’t think that would work out so well.

But now. FEMA is a little scawed because they might have f’d up just a teensy tiny little bit in the whole, “recognizing the potential and planning for a disaster” thing in New Orleans. So they are trying to get a jump on our need for life jackets by requiring us to have flood insurance.

My home owners association was very helpful and sent me this notice:

I love the guy sitting on his house. He looks a little calm for someone who (1) is now the proud owner of a shipwrecked house and (2) is almost certainly entirely too big to fit through the door of that house. I love that somewhere there is a clipart of this, and that is what my homeowners people chose to put on their nice little warning about how I live in a place that will probably be under water at some point. But at least the bird made it out okay.

Here is a picture of what people on submerged houses actually look like:

This is the picture they should put in the letter. At least then when our house ends up under water we will all be reminded to put on a damn raincoat. Screw the bird.

3 comments:

tornwordo said...

Insurance will let you sleep more soundly the next time El Nino deluges California.

Patricia said...

isn't it strange to think that someone at the association office has someone whose job it was to make floods look pretty? and this is what they chose. a giant of a man who could just as easily stand up next to his house and still be breathing just fine, thank you very much.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Between earthquakes, floods and fires, I'm surprised you can buy insurance in CA at any price.