Monday, December 04, 2006

Again, With the Target

“Uh, do you wanna go by Target real quick? I need to pick up some shampoo.”


This is a very bad exchange between a friend and I. $150 out of my bank account and she had her shampoo. Have I mentioned that Target is evil?

First of all, who goes to Target for shampoo? That should have been my first clue, and I should have just said, “Let’s go to the grocery store instead.” Because there is only food at the grocery store, and a lot of it has to be cooked and stuff, so we all know there isn’t a real big threat of me overspending there. But noooooo. I said yes to going to Target. Bad idea.

Worse idea to pick up a basket and really think that I was going to make it out of Target with so few and so small of items that a hand held basket would be sufficient. When will I learn? Not anytime soon, I imagine. I should have known we were in trouble when we walked in and my friend didn’t even pretend to head in the direction of the shampoo. We were officially wandering in Target and that is officially the worst way for me to spend my time.

By the end of the trip my friend found me in the frame aisle, “The last thing I heard was you saying, ‘I feel like I should go to the frame aisle, I feel like I should get a cart.’ Then I looked up and you were gone. I think you have problems.”

“Well, yes, have I told you about my $150 Halloween costume I got here?”

But! I didn’t just spend money in a haphazard fashion. Oh no. It’s the holidays! People need presents! And apparently I need some damn cheer. So I bought some of both (presents and cheer).

Here is the cheer:

This is so my kind of tree. Isn’t it awesome? Feathers. I love it. And nothing says holidays like the Shit Bitch Bear.

I bought the tree and although that was very cheerful I felt like I needed even more. So these two Kleenex boxes in festive colors rounded out the decorations for the house. Martha Stewart has nothing on me.

And then I took this picture because I think it is hilarious, “Um I have to go to Target to pick up a DVD player and some tampons. Oh look! They are conveniently in the same aisle. Perfect. Oh, and while I’m here I’ll also pick up some of these festive Kleenex boxes and perhaps do some family planning. This is really a hell of an aisle.”


tornwordo said...

I think I just salivated over the $21 dvd player. Thank god we are targetless up here.

Anonymous said...

They have those feather trees at Zellers here in Canada. I really debated about getting one. I don't have a shit bitch bear though, so I probably couldn't pull it off as well as you have.

I've missed posts like these, welcome home Cheer Bear!

Dean said...

I saw those trees at Target on Saturday too. I am glad to see some holiday cheer making its way into your home.

It is so sad for Target challenged people like yourself to have a holiday like Christmas. There must be a solution somewhere. Aren't scientists working to help the Target challenged?

famous said...

Woooooow...a feather tree. That's awesome!!!

Brokeback Bear said...

Just in time for Christmas cheer...the shaded shitbitch bear is here! :-)

Patricia said...

that tree is so awful, it's perfect.

and sure, you can try to blame your shampoo-needing friend, but really. you knew the trap you were walking into when you headed for the red bullseye. we all do. and yet we walk, mesmerized, through those cheerful red doors like zombies and buy stuff 'til we puke.

i mean... uhhh... yeah, i can relate.