Today I went to another morning show appearance. It went well. And it once again went after a horrifying life story. Whyyyyyyy? You might recall last weekend when I had the good fortune to follow a man who had spent his youth as a child soldier in Africa. It was ever so much fun to make jokes about sports bras after stories of torture and death.
I entered the green room and met the woman who would be going on before me. She runs a hotline for abused American women who are stuck in foreign countries and can’t get out. She started this hotline because she was an abused American woman stuck in a foreign country who couldn’t get out. She and her children endured years of abuse at the hands of her husband. She finally escaped, made it back here, started her hotline and is now up for huge award for Really Important People with Really Important Stories to Tell. Or something.
After the producer got done talking to this force of nature and inspiration enough for 8 Lifetime movies she turned to me, “I couldn’t find any Body Glide to bring as a prop, but one time when I ran out of Body Glide I just rubbed lip gloss on me and that worked too, so maybe we can use that!”
I literally was on right after the Harrowing Life Tale Woman. I was talking about sports bras and the Milkshake song.
Who books these shows?
And then my mom went to the website to try to find a clip of the most inspiring story ever told, and maybe a little bit of me going on about short shorts. Once she got to the site she found my book. It was listed with another book:
Mom told me I need to start working on a sympathy angle real quick.