Tuesday, September 13, 2005


I have officially realized that I have a problem. I cannot say no to work. And therefore I have way too much of it. My friggin arm has all but fallen off my body as a result of work, and yet when I get a call from someone needing something made pretty (as that is what I do – I prettify things (and holy crap, “prettify” is actually a word.)) I can’t say no. I was born with the inability to say no. (Except when offered vegetables. In those instances I’m able to find my long silenced voice and utter the words, “No, but I’ll have whatever carbs you’re offering.”)

About 6 months ago a woman in my old office asked me if I would be available to work a few weeks in September in their publishing department. Because it was only going to be part-time work and because she was talking about oh, six friggin’ months away, I said “Sure!”

It is now September. And I’m not so “Sure!” anymore. I’m more like “sure?”

In my haste and inability to say no I did not take two very important points into consideration when agreeing to work in September.

Point #1 - One of my main jobs (lets not talk about how many jobs I have, that’s a whole nother blog) is doing that boring political mail that you get out of your mailbox and immediately throw into your trashcan. My job is to make you look at it for at least 2.67 seconds before you throw it away. It really is quite rewarding work, knowing that my art is annoying people throughout the county.

So yeah. Guess what month is coming up? November. Now I try not to follow politics, cause it’s all a bunch of poo. But I’ve heard that sometimes there are elections in November. Yeah. And what is an election if it doesn’t add 30 tons of glossy cardstocked mail to our landfills? And what kind of graphic designer am I if I don’t contribute at least 15 tons of that trash? I’m a failure, is what I am.

So my boss came to me today with a detailed calendar of the various mail pieces we have to have out. And he said, “The next four weeks are going to be hell. What’s your availability like?” And I said, “Well, other than the part-time job I took on, as well as my regular freelance work and not to mention the weddings and corresponding bachelorette parties and rehearsal dinners, my schedule is just wide open.” Blah.

Point #2 - This is a much more important point that I failed to note when agreeing to September work: The New Fall Season Is Starting!!! AND So Is Football!!! Lord in heaven, this is an exciting time of year. But it does present a bit of a time management issue for me. The beginning of the Fall Season holds so much hope and my VCR’s hold so many hours of recorded entertainment. When I was asked to work in September I should have looked at my calendar, seen that that is when the TV and Football seasons start and said, “Uh, no, I’m sorry. I have a standing date with my red couch for the duration of September. Call me in October, most of the shows will be cancelled by then, so I’ll have more free time.”

But no, I didn’t think of either of these points and as a result I am now going to be faced with either sleeping or watching TV throughout the month of September. Because lord knows I’m not going to have time to do both. And anyone who knows me at all knows that this month could be the basis of Sophie’s Choice Part 2 – An Even Sadder Tale of Loss.


Patricia said...

those direct mail things are your fault??? i suppose you're responsible for the stupid inserts in magazines, too? what about the perfume samples and offers personalized with my name? are those you, too? no wonder you have no time for tv!

Fall Preview Addict said...

One word for you dawn, one word. Actually I don't even know if it is considered a word, but it's certainly a recognizable term: TIVO. This will save your VCR's from unecessary wear and tear and never miss a fall premiere.

dawn said...

Dude, you can't tape THREE shows at ONE time with TiVo. Which is why I've said TiNo. There are like 786 channels, I have a lot of shows on at the same time.

And, yeah, I've been known to personalize bulk mailings with people's names. But only because someone paid me. A girl has to eat. Or at least pay for her cable bill.