Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Saving the World

So I’m going to save the world in November. Well, not for the whole month, just two weeks. Cause I’m sure the world can be saved in two weeks, right? That’s like 14 whole days.

I’ve been looking for a way to save the world all year, and I finally settled on Habitat for Humanity, because, well, that Jimmy Carter is just so adorable. And who doesn’t like Humanity? Or Habitat for that matter.

The problem with saving the word is that it’s not cheap. You’d think that if you were offering to volunteer for 14 days you wouldn’t have trouble finding someone who wanted to take you up on your offer. You’d be right. But you’d also be out a couple grand. Cause the world needs saving people, and it is not in a financial situation to give you anything for free.

So once I realized that it was going to cost me to volunteer I started looking for the organization that I wanted to pay for the privilege of volunteering my time. I found a few programs where you go play with orphans or help the sick. But honestly those would not be good for me. I’d want to take all the orphans home and I’d offer the sick people all my viable organs to try to save them. And then I’d return home the mother of 10 with no kidneys. And that would be bad.

Habitat for Humanity has always been my kind of volunteering because I get to build stuff and get dirty and there are no sick children around for me to try to smuggle across any border. Granted, I’ve only built locally, so there aren’t really any borders involved, but there are some tricky fences.

Why does it cost a couple grand to volunteer? Cause I’m not volunteering in this country. I really wanted to get out of this country for a little while, and I also wanted to save the world. And I only had a couple weeks to do both. So I decided to save the world out of the country. See how time efficient that is?

I found a trip I wanted to go on this summer. They were going to be building houses in Bolivia. It would be a positive, soul-enriching, cultural experience. I was all set to sign up and then I got an offer to work on a horror movie. And we all know how positive, soul-enriching and cultural horror movies are. So the world had to wait a little while to be saved. It’s already gone to hell in a handbasket, what was a few more months going to do?

Now that the movie is over and I’ve contributed to a piece of cinema that involves Pretty People being chopped up by an axe I am once again ready to embrace the world and build it a house. So I’m going to Honduras in November. I am currently working 374 jobs and sitting in front of various computers for a good 15 hours a day. My phone is constantly ringing and my e-mail is constantly, uh, getting e-mail from people who want me to sit in front of my computer even more.

Is it bad that building houses for two weeks is actually going to be a nice break? I might just move into one of the houses I build and stay in Honduras forever. Do you think those houses get cable?


dawnfan13 said...

This blog contradicts all of your previous blogs about not moving much and other non-physical activities. I am very glad you are saving the world, one country at a time. I hope they are making a horror movie in Honduras, because then you will be able to combine your talents. I don't think they have Wi-Fi or DSL there, but perhaps you connect to the internet via paper cups connected with string?

Patricia said...

it is beyond cool that you're going to build houses.

clearly, it seems as though you've violated one of the basic laws of employment. never be so efficient that you keep getting asked to do - and accomplishing - more and more work in the same amount of time. it might be time to start some serious slacking off.

Agreeman said...

Patrica is oh-so right. If you appear to be able to handle the work, people will assume you can. Now is the time to start saying "No! I am so swamped right now, you need to find someone else to do it. If you want me to do it, I can't do it until XX date!"

If you don't do this you'll drive yourself insane. If you do do it, you will not only gain the respect of your peers but when you appear to be so busy to your clients, they only want you MORE because you must be good if you are that busy!


Dean said...

Great organization to volunteer your services to! I have always liked the work they did, partially becuase they do a lot of it helping folks right here at home in the U.S.. The other part is due to my construction background.

I am glad to hear you are saying "Goodbye TV", cause if you think you are going to watch TV while you are there guess again.

Next time you are looking for a save the world thing, let me know. I am tapped into seleveral outfits that do this type of thing. The one that comes to mind is building an orphanage in Mexico.

Any hoot...good luck.
PS: This will not be a vacation. They will work your little @$* off.