Friday, April 14, 2006

2000 Minutes of Talking

I have problems. I got my phone bill yesterday. Who am I talking to? Really. I need to know. Cause I’m talking to them waaaaaay too much. Like 2000 minutes too much. Who talks for 2000 minutes? What could I possibly have to talk about for 2000 minutes? I can only surmise that I’m repeating myself, perhaps telling different people the same information. Because lord knows I do not have enough to say for 2000 minutes. If you do the math, that’s over a day of talking. I spent more than a day last month talking. Holy inevitable brain tumor Batman.

Today, because I am sick and everyone and they’re mother decided to call me (seriously, tell your mother to stop with the calls) I have lost my voice. It’s gone. Perhaps it is a sign. The phone bill came yesterday and my voice left today. It is on strike for being used too much. During peak calling times.

I was thinking maybe I need to start saving some of my calling for PM hours, because I have free nights and weekends. Then the nice help line lady told me that my Night Hours don’t start until 9 p-friggin-m. What the? That’s ridiculous. That’s past some people’s bedtime. Now granted, it’s my midday, but most normal people aren’t waiting to make calls till then. Of course, most normal people don’t need to wait until 9 pm to avoid going over their 1400 minute cell phone plan. Because most normal people don’t have problems, like me.

So I upped my plan to 2100 minutes. For an additional 20 dollars. The fact that I will be relieved to see a $115 phone bill is a sign that things have gone tremendously off course in my world. Something needs to be done. Maybe my voice won’t come back. That may help.

But then there’s always text messaging....


Chunks said...

I have unlimited long distance on my land line. One month I talked for 4000 minutes. I think there is a support group for people like us, called "Yakkers Anonymous"

Anonymous said...

There is no such thing as a quick dawn phone call! I think you speak more words a day than anyone on earth, and that includes Oprah. You cram as much information into every phone call and speak so fast I sometimes feel like I am chasing a gazelle. This is a true talent. I think if they had to do a cell phone "words per minute" average you'd win that award hands down! Maybe now is the time for you to invent a "brain cancer prevention pad" that you put between your head and phone (kind of like that pad they put on you when they take X-rays at the dentist. You will make so much money it won't matter how much your bill is.

Jen said...

Wow! You talked more than me! That is nearly impossible! :)

Harris Bloom said...

Who talks for 2000 minutes a day you ask?

Taxi drivers in NY, that's who. I really wanna know what their cell plans are.