Monday, April 03, 2006

Best Birthday in March

Wow did I have a great birthday this weekend. Best Birthday I’ve ever had in March. This is mainly because I had two margaritas and my birthday is actually in January...

A group of friends from my old place of employment sent out an e-mail a couple weeks ago saying that we were all going to get together for a girls night out. Someone said we were going to Mexican food and I e-mailed, "Can I say it’s my birthday, so I can get a free sombrero?" Someone wrote back, "Yes, we can even bring fake presents to really sell it. I’ll bring empty gift bags." Then I wrote, "Empty?"

And that was the end of it. I thought. Until I showed up at the Mexican restaurant on Friday night. Pictures show the good times:

Here is the bringer of the balloons. Yes, I actually had birthday balloons in the bar area. Thank god I didn't get carded.

And then came the gifts. And oh, were they special. My old place of employment has a volunteer department that caters primarily to old ladies who volunteer in hospitals. And old ladies love them some pointless crap. So the girls went to the storage room and filled up a bag with said pointless crap. Oh, and they foud a crown hat too. Which I had to wear. Which I forgot I was wearing when I had to take a call out in the lobby area. Turns out lobby people do not understand birthday spirit.

Best of the pointless crap? This lapel pin. "You have never had bling like that before in your LIFE!"

Here is another shot of the crap, I mean presents. The Mexican restaurant? Less than a mile from the Hostess factory, where one can buy Hostess products for very cheap. And then give them to your friends on their non-birthdays.

Turns out one girl went to Bed Bath and Beyond looking for that Twinkie maker we talked about awhile back, but they were sold out. The helpful BB&B employee offered to call around to other stores to find one, but my friend said, "It's not even really her birthday, I'm not putting out any more effort here."

Please, if you will, make note of some of the other crap I received...a "Volunteering Warms the Heart" t-shirt, notecards with an otter on them, a pocket knife (who knew old ladies dug pocket knives?), candle holders, candles, a flashlight (actually it seems as if they might be catering to the outdoors-y old lady, or at least one who gets lost among the elements a lot), and my personal favorite - a can of peaches. This is awesome. Because one girl actually had this on her DESK. These are so my people.

God Bless America. And the little old ladies who think this crap is cool.

A Series of Events Leading to a Lesson

Combine Hostess products with Volunteer candles and viola! A cake. Yes, they sang.

I'm actually spitting margarita on the flame. We's nothing if not classy.

Pocket knife comes in handy.

Don't try this at home.

What is that I taste?

Knives are sharp, as it turns out. Lessons learned.

Did I get a sombrero? No. Not even flan. What kind of crap is that? We did tip our waitress 10 Hostess snack cakes though.


No respect for the bling.

And now, in Worst Party-Goer Ever news I had to go to a birthday party for my friend's 1 year old on Saturday. And since I had some baloons...

Can you see the kid looking at me like she knows I regifted balloons? Kids are so perceptive. Adults, on the other hand, were wondering why I bought a baloon that had a candle on it that said, "Hello, I'm back!" Leave it to me to bring that balloon to the only birthday party of the kid's life where "Hello, I'm back!" doesn't work.

Thank god I regifted the pocket knife too, so no one noticed the balloons.


Harris Bloom said...

I'm pretty sure that your injury resulted from pissing off the Snack Gods.

I mean, calling Hostess cakes crap?!?

Mr Hostess said...

I'm glad you all at least found the same restaurant this time. Twinkies rule!!

Chunks said...

That's it Dawn, you have to move up here and live near me. I need someone in my day to day life as kooky and fun as you!!! I know you don't like the cold, but we could overlook that, no?

Happy Non-Birthday! Don't drink and eat off knives!

herkamayah said...

Cute pictures - it's nice to see you haven't lost your ability to have fun for no reason!

Dean said...

Twinkies are the food of the Gods!

Dang woman, you sure know how to get down and party! Hope you kept the "bling" so you can stay up with Paris Hilton.

Oh and "Happy Not Your Birthday" to you!

April said...

Dawn - Sorry I couldn't make it.

Enjoy the peaches!

Teri said...

Sorry I missed it too. I was suppose to go but other than some other things that were happening I was so so sick! Want to come to my Seis de Mayo Fiesta?

Oprah said...

Hey sorry I couldn't make it either - it would have been great, especially if I had been invited. Oh well, no Ding-Dongs for me.