Thursday, April 20, 2006

Who Knew Tampons Were So Much Fun?

Let's stay on the tampon thing, shall we? We shall. I just went to the Dittie Tampon site: www.dittie.com Someone. Please tell me what is going on.

1. There is music. It sounds vaguely like soft porn.

2. There is a section whose heading actually reads, "Where have your Ditties been?" (http://www.dittie.com/on_the_road.php) Please do not answer that. And for the love of crap, do not send in pictures, as they are requesting you to do.

3. I was trying to find some pull quotes from this section (http://www.dittie.com/barbara.php), but the whole damn thing is a pull quote. It's ridiculous. "Dittie is dedicated to kicking taboos to the curb by creating a network of girls and women who are proud to buy, wear and share their Ditties." Proud? To buy tampons? Is this an accomplishment of some sort? I guess buying tampons means that you officially survived PMS, which is probably more of an accomplishment of those around you.

4. There are images for your desktop. Whyyyy?

5. "Dittie is serious about making your period more fun." So they have a tampon bowling page. http://www.dittie.com/bowling/index.htm I'm sorry. That is just where I draw the line. WHY DOES MY PERIOD NEED TO BE MORE FUN?!!!! And how exactly is internet tampon bowling helping me? I just don't know. All it is really doing is annoying me, because I can't seem to knock down any of the tampons. I think I'm distracted by how extremely large the tampons would have to be in order to really play tampon bowling. They do not look fun.

I'm so going to the store and buying some of these, don't worry dear readers, I'm looking out for you. After we all get done reading them and laughing and hugging and high-fiving and probably taking some Midol we'll line the tampons up for a quick game of bowling.

God I wish I could have my period all the time, this is so much fun.

9 comments:

Patricia said...

yay! i knew you'd go to the site! being frightned of the large bowling "pins" is what sent me over the edge.

and i dunno who dean is from yesterday's comments but i heart him for sticking with the entire game of tampon bowling and sharing his score.

i'm quite certain that ditties must've been shania twain's muse. man! i feel like a woman

Stephanie said...

Okay did anyone else see the High Scores page? Poor Jessica Wu gets her picture up for being champion. But also Ms. Charlotte is 63? Why is a 63 year old woman playing tampoon bowling?

Chunks said...

I tried to see if they are available in Canada, but I keep getting an error message. I played a couple of rounds of tampon bowling (got 85 then 110) and read the dittie diaries. I gotta say, these people are jazzed about their periods!

I figure since I am a do-it-yourselfer, I'm just going to take a Sharpie on a day I don't have PMS and just write little messages for myself! Who needs Dittie when you are witty?

(Oh and this blog entry of yours should have a Depends disclaimer, I near peed my pants with laughter!)

Dixie's bowling partner said...

I had to try the bowling and I did better than I ever have at a real alley, i got a 223. I should suggest that they use tampons at the real alley, and also let me use "Dixie" as my bowler, because apparantly, she knows how to throw strikes. I guess tampons really ARE fun!

Anonymous said...

Seriously......do you know what you started? I was playing tampon bowling at the front desk at work (working hard) and I had a whole group of people checking it out. Yes, guys were playing too. although I do have to say.....the tampons look like giant XXX adult toys....sorry!! :)

tornwordo said...

And I told everyone yesterday about the sassy messages.

carrie said...

Wow! I can even send an e-ditty. A sort of e-card warning to people that the dreaded period is coming. Last time I checked having your period wasn't considered to be the same level of emergency as a hurricane. Man this is out of control. Maybe these people should buddy up with the "anonymous Vietnamese waxer lady" and then they can have ALL their 'down there' worries taken care of.

Dean said...

patricia,

The only way I made it to the end was my competitive spirit...and the fact I closed my eyes a lot.

What's next? Winter Sports of Tampon Bobsled games?

-Dean

Jenn said...

I laughed so hard at your last 2 posts. I can't believe some of the ideas that people come up with.