Wednesday, April 19, 2006


I was at the store today and I saw these:

They are tampons. With messages on them. WTF? Can you see on the boxes? They say "With sassy messages!" and "Mood-lifting messages inside!" WTF? Really? Really.

I was in the store on the cell phone (I can’t imagine why I have $350 phone bills, as I can’t even tampon shop without talking on the phone) and I interrupted a business call (with a man) to say, "Look, I’m sorry, but I have to tell you what I’m looking at right now. I’m staring at tampons that have sassy messages written on them." The person on the other end of the line said, "You mean like fortune cookies?" I said, "Well, I don’t know where you put your fortune cookies, but..."

Can I just tell you how continually amazed I am by the store? I mean, that might be because I go so infrequently that it is like a whole new place every time. But still, I think it might also have to do with the complete abundance of STUFF we as Americans feel that we need. And it’s not even the STUFF so much as the DIFFERENT BRANDS of STUFF. Tampons for instance. Do I need an entire 5 shelves of tampon choices? Do I really? Do we really need people making up NEW tampons? And do they need to have messages on them? Good god. Are we that hungry for constant entertainment that even our tampons have to be sassy? Come on. What is going on? And am I right in my observation that these seem to be marketed towards African American women? Do African American women need their own tampon? Are they feeling left out? Do their whooha’s need catch-phrases? I don’t know.

All I know for sure is that if you’re looking for attention go ahead and take out your digital camera in the middle of the tampon aisle. Then start snapping photos.


Stephanie said...

Actually my friend worked for Raley's and the lady who created the tampoon wanted to donate some proceeds to breast cancer research. She wanted the slogan to be "Save a titty buy dittie". What's sad is, I'm not joking.

Patricia said...

i do believe it's official. i've now seen everything.

but really, for the full effect, you need to go to because you really haven't seen everything until you've played an online version of something called "tampon bowling".

i think i need to go live in a cave.

tornwordo said...

That is so funny!

And I need to go play tampon bowling now.

herkamayah said...

You are officailly re-named Dawn Sienfeld.

Chunks said...

Thank God that sassy tampons are blog worthy, else I would have missed out on this incredibly hilarious bit of news!

I wonder what the mood-lifting messages would be? "It's okay that you feel like crap, the world is a better place because of YOU!" You HAVE to go back and buy them and then the next time I am dropping an egg, you can send me little pick-me-uppers and see if they work! (Or see if I get in my van and drive down there and beat you black and blue! hahahahha!)

Dean said...

Alright...I was going to ignore this topic today, but I couldn't believe it and had to go see for myself.

Sure as tootin'...Tampon Bowling. To make matters worse, I had to play a game. Got a 191, but it was almost unbearable to watch.

Did anyone notioce how much red and pink colors are used on that site? Especially in Tampon Bowling? That and watching the Tampon pins fall was to much, after just having eaten lunch.


JT said...

OMG, that is the craziest thing I have read - I have no words....