Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Kid and The Dog

Today I am going to be the person who writes about a kid and a dog. I’m sorry. I don’t know when I became that person, but here I am. I think I left hip by the wayside many a year ago.

So first, the kid. The kid had a recital tonight. “The Musical History of Early America” it was called.

When I got the program I was hoping they were talking about early America circa the 1950's or so. That’s the kind of music I’d like to hear. But noooo. They went back a bit farther than that to the constitution and Washington and other boring stuff. Not one Elvis or Frankie Valli song. Damnit.

But I must say, these recitals are getting a little bit better every year. That’s because the kids are able to memorize better things every year. When you start out, in the preschool and the kindergarten, you get a lot of hand clapping and jumping around and the occasional 4 line song. It takes everything in your power to clap for something so unamazing. But as the kids get older they are able to take on bigger and better things. Tonight, for instance, these kids took on the whole history of America. AND they even remembered to add in some clapping for old times sake.

These kids sang for like 45 minutes straight, song after song, after history after clapping. I was somewhat amazed that they could fit all these songs into their heads, who do these teachers think these kids are? U2? How the hell are they supposed to remember all this stuff? But they did.

Except when they didn’t. Which was awesome. They’d all kinda start humming at the same point, then look to each other and hope, hope, hope that at least someone could get them back on track. I realized at that point that the only real hope of these recitals being entertaining to adults is if something goes wrong. Someone falls down, the whole set falls over, the kids start lifting their skirts over their heads and running around in chaos. This is what we are all waiting for. Something to send in to America’s Funniest Home Videos.

But unfortunately nothing that bad usually happens. Do the kids realize that you can win 10 GRAND on Funniest Home Videos? Work with us here.

And now the dog. Another possibility for 10 grand, if only he would sing or talk or bite someone in the balls. But no, all he wants to do is play with rocks that for some reason seems to have heads and legs.

Nola spent a good half hour trying to figure out why that rock was moving and hissing at him. The dog ain’t that bright, but we love him anyways. I fear he might be getting stupider by the day, because every day he does something that causes him to go tumbling down stairs, into a wall, onto his head or something equally as traumatizing to his poor little body. He just kind throws himself places. And usually he doesn’t realize until he is in midair that the place he is throwing himself is going to hurt an awful lot. Today alone he leapt off a porch, ran face first into a wooden step at full running speed, and jumped right into the kneecap of a running kid.

Maybe if I would have brought him to the recital things would have livened up a bit...


tornwordo said...

Those are cute stories. Poor Nola! Even spouse liked the video. And he likes little, lol.

Patricia said...

i love that you are writing about the kid and the dog. mostly because it makes me feel slightly more sane. and that's what i like in a blog. self affirmation.

that and stinkin adorable videos of a dog freaking out about a turtle.

how is nola's vision? even if it's perfect now, running into all those things can't be helpful.

Chunks said...

Don't even talk to me about retarded dogs, mine barked at a water bottle for a half hour last night!

I love the little shows that the kids have, especially when something goes wrong. I still remember the Stone Cutter play where the Stone Cutter almost got his eye poked out by one of the dancing fairy things. It was the best!!

Anonymous said...

I don't feel so bad about that dang dog barking at me now. If he doesn't like a turtle, he obviously has no taste whatsoever!-mom

Anonymous said...

I tend to refer to my dog as the "special" child. Sometimes I think she has and IQ in the negative numbers. She has fear of many things (some of which are only visible to her). Endless possibilites for laughter.