Friday, January 06, 2006

God is So Over Pat Robertson

I am exhausted and did not make any fun trips to the post office today, so I really have nothing to blog about. Oh but wait, I did go to the post office to get stamps for a mailing and I once again hid my phone in the bushes outside. Then on my way out I was following a woman with a phone in her hand. She went down the steps and to the left, where the bushes were. And she put her phone under the same bush as my phone! Of all the bushes in all the land! She was a bit alarmed when she turned around and I was standing there, waiting for my turn. I pointed to the bush, "Mine is under there too." She just shook her head and we silently agreed that the federal government is ridiculous.

And speaking of ridiculous how much do I love Pat Robertson? I mean really, the guy is a walking Moron Soundbite. I LOVE it. He entertains me so. Seriously, the guy is one of the biggest boobs on the planet and never goes more than a few weeks without making sure we all have a very clear understanding of his idiocy. Today Robertson said God was pissed and so he gave that Sharon guy a stroke. Turns out God didn’t like that Sharon was dividing up God’s land. Or something. Seriously, I LOVE this guy.

Over the years he’s been pretty general in his hate spewing, the standard women are inferior, gays are satan and the lord loves all his people, except for all you evil sinners. But lately I like the focus he is giving to God’s wrath. Instead of just using the bible as an excuse to vomit hate throughout the land he is now kicking it up a notch and crediting God for all horrific natural disasters and deaths. It’s great. I bet God is loving all of this attention. I picture the big guy just sitting upstairs watching TV saying, "Is there any possible way for me to sue this guy for slander? Do I have a lawyer on retainer? No? None up here? Damn." (Easy lawyer joke, I’m sorry.)

Below is a little comic from me to you, please excuse the ghettoness, but it’s the best I can piece together with Google images and lack of sleep. In this comic the role of God is being played by Homer Simpson. Please make a note of it. Also make note of the fact that camera phones, while not allowed in Federal Buildings, are welcomed in heaven. But you are going to pay a hell of a roaming charge.

6 comments:

Chunks said...

You need to enter that into a FARK photoshop contest, you'd win, in spite of the "ghettoness" of it.

Those religious zealots don't understand the history of psychiatry...oh no, wait, that's Brooke Shields! I don't know, they're all freaky to me!

Patricia said...

at least it's a relief to see that they have flat screen TVs in heaven. i wonder if they have the whole tivo-is-possessed thing worked out.

Dean said...

Your picture is right on the money!
Although, shouldn't the cell phone be under a bush?

Oh wait...there's a song about it:

"Hide it under a bush "Oh No!", I'm gonna let it shine...

heather said...

great comic

dawn said...

In my heaven they so have flat screen TV's. That is pretty much my only requirement for my heaven. Oh, and french fries. That's all I need for eternity.

Lynn said...

What, no Twinkies!!?