Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Lessons

A conversation with a 10 year old:

"Dawn, what color is your hair really?"
"See the dark brown underneath?"
"Yeah, that’s really dark."
"That’s my real hair color. I change it all the time. That’s the fun thing with hair, you can try all sorts of different things with it and it just grows out eventually."
"There’s a girl in my class, Cassie, she told her hair dresser to just cut like two inches and the lady cut like her whole head and it’s really really short now."
"Oh, that sucks."
"It does. But not really, because Cassie is like my arch enemy."
"Your what?"
"My arch enemy."
"Really. I thought only superheroes had those."
"I really don’t like her."
"What did she do to become your arch enemy?"
"I don’t know, she was born. I don’t like her."
"Anything specifically?"
"Just all sorts of stuff. Like, like, listen to this. So one day I asked her if she wanted to play, cause you know, Josie was sick and so I needed another person to play with."
"A sub."
"Yeah. And so we were playing and I found a four leaf clover and I showed it to her and then she took it and ran to the teacher and showed it to him and was all like, look at what I found, a four leaf clover. And totally took credit for it."
"Wars have been started over less."
"I hate her, and I wish she would just die."
"No you don’t, don’t say that, wish for her to trip and fall in a pile of poo or something. Cause if you wish her to be dead and something happened to her, you’d feel horrible."
"That’s true. It would be even better if she fell in poo anyways."
"So her hair is really short?"
"Yeah, and everyone says she looks like a boy, and I think it’s hilarious."
"That’s not very nice, remember last year when your hair was cut too short and people thought you were a boy?"
"Yeah, that sucked."
"So you should have some sympathy for her."
"Just because it sucked for me doesn’t mean I can’t be happy that it sucks for her."

This is where a lesson should have come in. But again, this is not my kid. I just feed her McDonald’s and play board games with her. The lessons can be taught by the person who gets to write the kid off on her taxes.

I wonder where the kid gets her cheery disposition...

4 comments:

Patricia said...

"Just because it sucked for me doesn’t mean I can’t be happy that it sucks for her."

i just really love that philosophy. i do.

Chunks said...

Hahaha! Thanks for the funny post Dawn, I needed a good laugh!!

My eleven year old says some of the funniest things...I should really be writing them down. Like the other day, she emailed me one of those "Spiritual Forwards" and when I went to open it she says "Mom, be in reverance." Well, that just made me laugh.

Herkamayah said...

Tragedy vs. Comedy...


Tragedy...

I am walking down the street, stub my toe, trip and fall into a pit of mud.

Comedy...

YOU are walking down the street, stub your toe and fall into a pit of mud.

:-)

Jenn said...

Wise kid. :)