Monday, July 24, 2006

Men’s Bathroom

I have another exciting bathroom story to share with you. Unfortunately, unlike last time, I don’t have any pictures to accompany it. Whipping your camera out in a bathroom just doesn’t go over as well as you’d imagine.

My mom and I went to the theater on Saturday. During halftime the theater decided to turn one of the men’s bathrooms into a women’s bathroom in an effort to ease the inevitable women’s bathroom line that extended around the block. The men were regulated to another bathroom and the women started forming a line around the block for the newly available bathroom. It was all quite exciting, the concept of women just taking over all the bathrooms because halftime is not 45 minutes and that’s how long it takes for every woman in the theater to pee.

This plan of opening up another bathroom seemed like a great idea in theory, but in reality the men’s bathrooms only have three stalls and a wall of urinals. And this particular men’s bathroom had one broken stall. So then you have a line of women around the block, but only two measly stalls for them to get filtered into. Needless to say this was not a very fast moving line.

As halftime drew to a close the women drew more impatient. And more resourceful. One by one women went to the urinals, plopped their asses down on them and peed. “These things work ladies!”

Uh yeah. It is just not everyday that you see a line of women peeing in urinals. And I am so sorry that I didn’t have the balls to take a picture of it, but as I mentioned earlier, these women were impatient and resourceful - not a combo you want to mess with. But somehow I don’t think a photo is necessary, because I think the visual image you are conjuring up in your mind right now is actually pretty accurate.

Theater is such a classy way to spend an afternoon.


Flushed out said...

Holy ca-rap. Now I've heard it all. I didn't think anyone could fit an ass in those things, much less hit the target. I'm glad you don't have pictures, the mental image is bizarre enough.

Chunks said...

Those women that peed in the, hello! Have you ever seen how dirty those things are?! GAG!!!!

I could never pee in a urinal. For one, I would puke and for two, I am too short. Guaranteed no matter how low in would be, it would still be too high. I would be curled up on the floor with my drawers around my ankles and SOMEONE would take a picture and make it into one of those "Priceless" emails.

Dean said...

OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever...and I mean ever heard of.

Given the choice of having some guy from the mafia shove my head in a urinal or spending 5 days of grueling torcher...I would have to think about it. Torcher.

On a side note. What kind of theatre was this that had "halftime"? Was it a play about sports?

Stephanie said...

That totally sounds like Music Circus. Which show? I miss Music Circus. *sigh* Oh yeah and that's digusting! :)

tornwordo said...

Oh my god, you have to fake the phone call slash take a picture with the cellphone.

But the image I've conjured up is priceless. Women in full make-up.

Patricia said...

this is exactly why the republicans have stopped funding the arts.

please tell me they didn't think the mints were giant altoids.


Anonymous said...

AND . . . of course, there was NO toilet paper!!!! I agree with Chunks . . . I would need a step ladder in order to straddle one of those!--mom

Laura said...

Can you imagine the diseases you could get from a urinal?? That is so repulsive. I would rather piss myself that squat in a urinal, especially when there are other people watching you! What the hell is wrong with people?