Thursday, September 21, 2006


I’m happy to report that I made it through a night without dismantling my shelves. This is progress. I was still pretty sure they were going to fall on my head though, so my dreams were a bit violent, but at least the damn things stayed on the wall.

Oh, didja you guys see Oprah today? The part where Jon Bon Jovi went to Bon Jovi Lane? That was where I spent a week getting heat stroke this summer. It was cool to see the houses all complete. I’m looking forward to going back in November and really getting a chance to catch up with the families and see them all settled in. They didn’t spend enough time on it if you ask me, they were too busy giving us countless shots of Bon Jovi’s too-bleached hair. And why is this the one time in 9 months that Matthew McConaughey had an actual shirt on? Come on Matt! These Katrina victims need some cheering up! Take off your damn shirt.

I love that Oprah is now outsourcing her good deeds to other celebrities. She doesn’t have time to go to all these places and hug all these crying people, so she sends pretty famous people to do it for her. Oprah is too busy saving the entire world to worry about Bon Jovi Lane. I mean come on.

In exciting news today I went for my first session at a place called Dream Dinners. Have you heard of this place? I think I love it. You basically go and prep a gang of different meals, then you take them home, freeze them and eat them throughout the month. I’ve been looking for a place like this so that I could have real food in my house to eat. Something that is a bit fresher than the Lean Cuisines I live on. What I’ve really been looking for is someone to prepare the food for me and bring it over so I can freeze it, but I haven’t found that yet. I did find Dream Dinners.

It only took me about a half an hour to prep all the food and then I was off with my arms full of meals. Now, whether or not I actually COOK and then EAT these meals has yet to be determined. I really do think I have a mental block against cooking. It is bizarre. All things domestic are just so lost on me. I could write you a poem that could literally make you cry and I could pick up a paintbrush and paint a human face, but cooking? Not so much. Today I actually dusted my stove. Do normal people use their stoves so infrequently that they need to dust it every once in awhile? (Of course I think that I passed normal by as soon as I went into detail about my sleepwalking redecorating...)

So right now, in my freezer, I have like 6 meals ready to go. Well, they aren’t so much “ready” as they are “frozen” and in need of some “actually cooking”. The “actual cooking” is what I fear may put a screeching halt on the Dream part of Dinner.

But the fact that there is real food in my freezer is a tremendous step in the right direction. The “right direction” being any direction that doesn’t lead me to the McDonalds that is two feet from my friggin’ house.


heathweb said...

Aren't "dream dinners" intended for pregnant or recent moms who just don't have the time to cook in the first few months? Or for families with like 6 kids?

How many other single females did you see at the place?

Patricia said...

first, i think i just might love heathweb at first read. sarcastic, pithy comments will do that to me.

next. i’m glad oprah is finally delegating. perhaps she has another birthday party coming up that she needs to plan. freeing up her calendar would be a priority, i’m sure.

and finally. the meals. what exactly was involved in the “prep” work? and what more is required to get them from freezer to table?

we’re gonna needs pictures of this whole process, along with anticipated dates on which to serve these meals and a play-by-play of the action along the way.

thank you.

fAMOuS said...

Dream Dinners...hmmm, I like the sound of that. Now I just need a bigger fridge. D'oh!

tornwordo said...

Oh shit! I would never make it living next to Mickey dees.

Aren't these things microwavable? Surely you aren't button impaired.