Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Sleeping Issues

I think I have psychological issues that need to be addressed. And mostly these issues come out when I am sleeping. They are weird, to be honest. And now they are taking on even weirder tones.

I have been a sleepwalker since I was a wee little child. Who knows why. I personally think that my brain is incapable of turning off for that long and needs to do something to keep it occupied. So it takes its body for walks sometimes. I used to wander more when I was a kid, but now I very rarely even leave my room. I usually wake myself up before I get too far. It’s all very confusing, yet at the time it is happening it makes perfect sense. You know how sometimes you have dreams that really make no sense whatsoever, but somehow you know exactly what is going on? When I sleep walk it’s similar to that in that yes, it seems weird that I’m moving all my pillows onto my bed, but at the same time I know that it’s because there is water rising very fast in the room. But just like in my dreams I know that there really isn’t water, I’m just dreaming, so the moving of the pillows is slow and methodical and when I’m done I go back to bed. Seriously. I have issues.

Usually the sleep walking doesn’t involve moving things, I usually just pop out of bed and think I see things in the shadows. I’m so used to this by now that I simply turn on the light quickly to calm my active imagination, then I go back to sleep. It’s a weird little battle between my dreaming brain and my awake brain and it happens a lot. It depends on the night which brain will win.

The other night the dreaming brain seems to have won out. I hung this shelf-type thing above my bed during a decorating kick this weekend and I ended up hanging it a little too high. I added a candle stick to the shelf and called it decorated. Then when I went to bed I looked up and saw this shelf hanging above my head and I was convinced that it was going to fall off the wall and kill me in my sleep. And the candle stick was going to finish the job with a sharp jab to my temple. It wasn’t going to be a pretty death. I tried to put these thoughts out of my head and sleep, but apparently the thoughts weren’t going anywhere. When I woke up in the morning I looked up and the shelf was gone. I looked around and it was on the floor, with the candle stick sitting next to it. Once I saw the shelf I remembered taking it down, because at the time it seemed the only logical way to avoid death by candlestick.

That morning I replaced the shelf and its candlestick and actually added a couple more little candles in glass thingys. That night I looked up and was scared of the shelf again. And now with the added candles there was even more stuff to fall on me. Sleeping is so dangerous. The next morning I woke up and found my wall to be shelf-free again. This time I had to take down three candles, a candlestick and the shelf in my sleep.

See, now this is psychotic, yes, but I’m also thinking that it’s kinda productive. Do you think I might be able to do other things in my sleep? Like vacuuming or make the laundry? Or since I seem to be into renovations, maybe I could paint a wall or something?

I dunno. All I know is that I am going to mentally beat that shelf. I’m re-hanging it up every night until it makes it to daylight while on the wall. I don’t know what you all are doing in your sleep but I’m mentally challenging myself as well as redecorating. You all are so wasting those 7 hours a day, I’m telling ya.


Patricia said...

i thought people in california didn't hang things above their beds? perhaps your brain heard that, as well, and is saving you from the dreaded falling off into the ocean that california is supposedly doomed for when "the big one" hits.

i'd be really curious if your brain needed to move the shelf if it were located somewhere else.

travis said...

Maybe you are on to something. But please don't hang your washer and dryer over your bed.

tornwordo said...

I too am afflicted. Just a couple days ago, I found a pile of clothes next to the washing machine in the morning. I don't really begrudge doing my chores while sleepwalking. My big fear is that I will one day leave the house.