It’s BAAAAAAACK

Dude. It is slightly unhealthy how much I love ‘Dancing with the Stars’. I really can’t get enough of this show. And what started as a guilty pleasure a couple seasons ago is now just a pleasure. I really like this show and think it has managed to pull itself out of the completely cheeseball category that it was in for the first season or two. But then again, there is a very good possibility that I might have just gotten used to the cheeseball and have in fact become a cheeseball myself. Actually now that I think about it the show really hasn’t changed at all - there are still the horrible cover songs and the C-list actors and the SEQUINS! So yeah. I’m the cheeseball.

But I’m okay with that.

I seriously love this show. Although I’m wondering why it is that they can’t get bigger stars to come on. I don’t really know who any of the women are that are supposedly “famous”. Besides Vivica A. Fox I couldn’t tell you anything about any of the other girls. I’m not one to point out failing careers, but would it kill Jennifer Grey’s agent to try to get her on this show? Could you even imagine? Oh, that’s almost too much to even dream of.

It’s only the first week of the show, and everyone seems to be a lot better than they usually are at this stage. This is because they’ve had 6 FRIGGIN’ WEEKS to train. What? You know how many things I could do well if I took six friggin’ weeks to train for them? Wasn’t part of the fun watching these people learn how to dance over the weeks? Guess not.

I have my top three already for the show:

Joey Lawrence. If there is some way he could grow his hair out before next week I think he’d have a much easier time getting votes. He looks creepy and white supremacist/bad guy on a Lifetime movie-ish and that is taking away from his good dancing. Also, if the hair thing doesn’t work out by next week, I at least want to see him make an effort to come out with sleeves on his damn shirt. The lack of sleeves is not helping his efforts to look unincarcerated.

Mario Lopez. I have had a crush on Mario since back in the AC Slater days. It’s the dimples. I’m a sucker for dimples. And given his frequent flashing of them, I’m thinking I’m not the only one who enjoys the dimples. The dimples alone were enough to get my vote, but my man Mario can move. And unlike Joey, I recommend Mario wear as little clothes as possible while dancing.

Emmitt Smith. Can we just give a big hurrah to the producers of this DANCING show for finally finding a black man who can dance? God lord. Last season they were able to find the only two uncoordinated black men in the country (Master P and Jerry Rice) and I believe those two men did a disservice to the entire race with their horrendous dancing. Emmitt not only knows how to dance but he also knows how to make dancing look like something that is more fun than a colonoscopy. That is a feat P and Rice couldn’t quite get.

So there you go. Way too much information about a show none of you are probably watching, because none of you are probably as big a dork as I am. Oh well. Maybe if I watched something besides Dirty Dancing for the better part of a decade things might have been different.